Lakin is 18! Am I Ready?

Today my first born turns 18! She is an adult. She can vote. Move out. Get married. Sign contracts. And all the other things adults can do...without our permission. Am I ready for this?

Lakin, when I found out I was pregnant with you...I wasn't really ready to be a mom. It caught us off guard because our big "plan" was to wait years before having kids not months :)  

When I found out you were a girl, I wasn't ready. I was scared because I didn't know how to get along with females all the time and I didn't know if I was capable of being a good mom to a daughter. What if I messed you up? What if you hated me?

When you went off to preschool, kindergarten, junior high, and then high school, I wasn't ready. When you had your first crush on a guy, got your heart broken, flew across the country by yourself, and got your driver's license, I really, really wasn't ready for any of that. You were growing up so fast! Your Dad and I didn't have a play book or any experience. We made many mistakes and goofs along the way! Some out of fear and my own hurts and hang ups. Many  times it was just plain being human. 

But today, on your 18th birthday, I am ready!!! Not because I have it all figured out or that I am not sitting here bawling my eyes out as I write this. I am ready because Lakin, I know without a shadow of a doubt God has you in His hand. With His love, mercy, and lots and lots of grace, you have turned into an AMAZING young woman!!!! 

I am ready for you to pave your own path and embrace your future! 
You have a great head on your shoulders! 
You have a huge heart! You care deeply for others!
You went through high school and stood true to your faith. That is a feat in itself :)
You have overcome obstacles that to most would seem insurmountable!
You have kicked down so many of your fears and not let them hold you back anymore!
You have shown all of us that YOU are braver and stronger than we could have imagined!!!
But most of all, I can see, how much you love JESUS!

Lakin, YOU are ready!!! You are ready to live out your purpose and His plan for your life. You are ENOUGH! Just the way you are, not because you are perfect but because you are HIS! A masterpiece! Fearfully and wonderfully made.

Don't live life on the sidelines or be afraid to fail!! Take risks! Dream big! Be kind. And never, ever forget, how much you are LOVED!!!!

Mom and Dad

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7

The Battle For Our Sons

I have two sons that touch my heart in ways I could never have imagined. When they were born they were so different from their sister to say the least. They woke up and went from zero to sixty all day, like little tornadoes tearing down whatever was in their paths. They played hard and crashed hard. Watching them sleep still is one of my favorite things to do. I look at their beautiful faces and first am grateful they are finally asleep (heehee) and then I get overwhelmed at how deep my love is for them. I know they will grow into men who will not "need" their mom as much, but right now I will protect them with my life. I know that I am in a battle, a battle for who will have my sons' hearts. My desire is that they will love Jesus and follow Him but the world is steadfast against this ever happening. And many parents, including Christian ones, seem to be giving up the fight.
 
When did we stop teaching our boys manners? When did we stop showing them how to treat women? Why do we let Hollywood destroy their image of females and love? Why have we stopped letting them do things around the house and pitch in not just for allowance but because they are part of a family? Why do we let them stay little boys way into adulthood? Why are we not fighting against the violence they see or the massive amounts of sexual images that are thrown at them daily through the TV, Facebook, their phones, and magazines? When did we stop talking to our sons and having real authentic conversations with them? When did we give up our authority and responsibility to talk to them about sex, dating, boundaries, and God? We let the church, their friends, the internet or TV guide them. These are not very reliable sources. Why do we turn our heads or pretend that everything is okay when IT IS NOT?

In Chap Clark's book, Hurt: Inside the World of Today's Teenagers, He suggests that the middle adolescents (ages 14-18) with whom he interacted "feel betrayed and abandoned by the adults in their world, because the grown-ups have, "abdicated [their] responsibility to nurture the young into adulthood."

• 95 percent of juvenile homicides are committed by boys.
• Boys are the perpetrators of four out of five crimes that end up in juvenile court.
• Boys under the age of 18 are responsible for close to one-fifth of the violent crime in the United States.
• One in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence.
• 75 percent of high school students admit to academic cheating.
• Fewer than 10 percent of American teens have internalized their faith to the point that it actually makes a difference in their sexual practices.
• Some researchers have stated that the average age of exposure to pornography is down to 8!!
• 39% of teen boys say they have engaged in "sexting" 

These statistics are just the tip of the iceberg! We are letting the world take our boys and turn them into the wrong kind of men. We have stopped fighting for integrity, honor, manners, responsibility, purity, kindness, good sportsmanship, truth, and the ways of Godly men. This doesn't just happen naturally; boys have to be taught and modeled the appropriate behavior. They have to be held accountable for their actions and understand consequences of their decisions. They need to see that their parents, especially their dads,  have high expectations not to make them perfect but to raise the bar on manhood. 

These boys that I have been gifted stole my heart from the moment they were born. It is my responsibility, my duty, my job as their mom to say, "You are the sons of a mighty King and you are a Lee. I love you too much not to fight for the man you are supposed to become. I am not concerned about you being the coolest, the best looking, the strongest or number one at any cost. I will stand up and tell you no even if everybody else is doing it. I care more about your heart than your popularity. Some days you will be mad at me and not understand our decisions. But know this my sons, dad and I will be held accountable to God how we raised our children and this battle will be fought through prayer and a lot of hard work. But YOU ARE WORTH IT!" 

⁵ 

"For he issued his laws to Jacob; he gave his instructions to Israel.

He commanded our ancestors to teach them to their children,

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so the next generation might know them—

    even the children not yet born—

    and they in turn will teach their own children." Psalm 78:5-6

Landen-My Hero!

     

Landen is our middle child, our first born son. He didn't have a traumatic birth. He doesn't have any major medical problems. He isn't high maintenance. He is not the funniest one in the family or the loudest or the one who gets the best grades. But Landen is one of my heroes!!! 

Ever since he was little he had a seriousness about him that was way above his age. He is sensitive and always has taken things to heart. When he was four we were at a Newsboys concert and he raised his hand at the end when they asked if anyone wanted to accept Jesus into their heart. I took notice but then questioned, "How much does a four-year old really understand?" So, I did what every responsible mom would do...I did nothing. Chalked it up to a cute moment:(

At five his kindergarten teacher asked his class what their "gifts" were that God gave them. He raised his hand and said, "Teacher, I think my gift is love. I want to go give clean water and build houses for people who need them. So I think God gave me the gift of love." Later that year we were watching the African Children's Choir perform. They showed a video during intermission of the situation in their country of Nigeria. I looked down at Landen and he looked up at me with these big green eyes and said, "Mom you know I have to go." Did I mention that he was five...

At six, Landen sat Bryan and I down and asked when he could get baptized. He had been asking us ever since the Newsboys concert and we kept blowing him off. I told Bryan, "Honey you have to talk to him! This is out of my realm. I didn't become a Christian until I was 23. I don't understand what a child should know before he gets baptized. Aren't you a pastor? Shouldn't this be easier?" We asked Landen why he wanted to do this. His answer, "I asked Jesus in my heart a long time ago and now I want to get baptized to show that I will follow him all my life." Again, how much does a kid understand? Apparently a lot!

Over the next few years Landen has shown us just what having a child like faith in God looks like. He has humbled us with his insights, his courage to share Jesus with others, and his faithfulness in what he believes! Riding home from soccer one day he said he talked to his friends about Jesus while they were playing. I nervously took a deep breath and questioned whether he said the right thing or did he offend anyone? He cocked his head and said, "Mom, God gave me the words to say. So it was okay."

His wise words have continued at many different times and have blown us away. One time he told his friend that the reason he says bad things is because he has sin in his heart that he needs to get out. He apologized to his sister by saying, "I am sorry I called you a name that was my anger talking not my true feelings. My words were reckless." His younger brother who was making fun of his size and he boldly stated, "I might not be fragile on the outside but I am fragile on the inside" as he pointed to his heart. When he was at the dermatologists and she was cutting out two huge moles with no anesthesia he said in obvious pain, "It's okay mom. God made me brave." He was only 6.

Last summer the kids were all being super crazy in the car and I said they were acting like brats. (not my finest mom moment). With tears in his eyes, Landen asked if he could talk to me when we got home. We went in to my bedroom and he said, "Mom, I know that we were not being good but that word really hurt my feelings. I was wondering if you could choose a different word when you talk to us because that one just really hurts." Ouch!

Our son struggles with stuff that is pretty heavy for the shoulders of a little boy. He is struggling with saying the school's Citizens pledge. When I asked him why, he said, "Mom, I already do those things not because my school wants me to but because I already made a vow to God. I am uncomfortable with saying a pledge to something that is not from God." Or the time I found him on his bed obviously upset. I asked if I could help. He answers with, "Mom, it's hard to put into words. I try to compare myself with God and what he wants me to do. And every day I fail. I don't know how to be who he wants me to be." Oh..well this isn't an easy bed time discussion for an 8 year old! 

As a teenager, he can be stubborn, grumpy and selfish sometimes. But he still opens doors for people, holds my arm when I am walking down the stairs, and gives us hugs almost EVERY single day. 

Landen is my hero not because he is perfect. He is not. Not because he doesn't make mistakes. He does. Not that we don't have to discipline him. We do. 

Landen is my hero because he stands up for what he believes even when its uncomfortable at such a young age. He sings worships music at the top of his lungs not caring if he is off key or who is watching. He hides God's word in his heart by making us read a devotional to him every night as he writes down the verses in his journal. (His idea not ours). Landen is my hero because he made his relationship with God his own even in spite of his parent's obvious shortcomings!

"Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12

Readers are Leaders..or at least have a lot to say :)

If you don't know already...I LOVE, really LOVE to Read! I will read almost anything...sometimes it takes me months to get through a book, sometimes I can read two books in one day, mostly I try to read a new book at least once a week. I do have a few unstated rules.
 
1) I NEVER reread it seems like such a waste of time.

2) I will finish the book no matter what, no matter how long it takes because I do not want to let the author down. (No, I don't know any of them personally but it is the principle of the matter)

3) I try not to pass judgement on the cover. Even if the cover has a guy on it that looks like Fabio from the butter commercials there really could be good content inside.

4) I keep a journal of the books I have read and write down a few thoughts from each of them. This does sound a little OCD but it helps me think that I am smarter than I really am.My facebook post a few months ago said. "I have read over 60 books in the last six months..everything from WWII, romance, religious studies, doctors in Africa, Jewish history, parenting, Gun-N-Roses bio, leadership skills to name a few... This is what I learned...God is awesome, people let you down, sex can be amazing, girls want to be loved, mean people suck, kids grow up and leave, helping others is important, and 90% of people will follow the crowd!!"

Reading lets you explore places far away you might never go, meet people you will never see, open your mind to things you had once closed off, tugs at your heart emotions, brings to light issue you might never have though about, improves your vocabulary so that you are a better Scramble player, and its fun! Reading lets you "catch a glimpse" of the presently unknown.

TEN WAYS TO RAISE A NONREADER (from the book, Honey for a Child's Heart by Gladys Hunt)

1. Have a television on at all times. Make sure you put a tv set and computer in every room. Don't forget the kitchen.

2. Keep the place neat-no books or literary magazines in sight.

3. Never let your child see you read a book.

4. Never take your kids to the library.

5. Never read stories aloud past age two.

6. Never talk about ideas while eating meals.

7. Keep the lights down low. Buy only forty-watt lightbulbs.

8. Schedule your children for every activity you can think of so they won't be bored.

9. Never play any table games together.

10. Absolutely no reading in bed or good lamps to make it easy to do.A few statistics to go along: (www.readfaster.com)

* 40% of 4th graders can not read fluently.

* 50% of adults are unable to read an 8th grade level book

* 44 million of adults in America can not read

* 15 minutes of independent reading a day can expose a reader to 1 million words of text a year!Some of you are saying so what I hate reading, I have never even finished a book all the way through, reading is boring, what's the point, I am not good at it....

My father-in-law was a F-16 crew chief for 35 years. He never read anything but the paper or car manuals. He liked working with his hands, was really great at his job, and could rebuild a car engine from scratch. At the age of 55, he picked up his first book as an adult, read it all the way through, and hasn't stopped. Now when we go to his house he has a stack of books ten high by his recliner. He goes to the library and Bookmans all the time. He wants books as presents and gets very excited about ones that have series so he can read all of them. Just the other day we had a talk about an 800 page book we had both read! He said, "Kimberley, I never knew what I was missing by not reading all those years!" (With his hands full of grease, his shirt stained with grease, and his legs nicked up from fixing our car that morning!) It's never too late...just try it again!