Superficial Has to Be Easier!

su·per·fi·cial -concerned only with what is obvious or apparent : not thorough or complete : affecting only the outer part or surface of something : not deep or serious : not having or showing any depth of character or understanding

Today, I want to be superficial, syrupy-sweet, and just coast through life! It is like having a cut; superficial is good, heals faster, doesn't hurt as much, and probably won't leave a scar. The deeper the injury, the higher the pain, healing takes longer, it will probably bleed more, and will most likely leave a mark, a reminder of the bad experience. As I look back over the years, I feel a little battered with "bruises, scrapes, injuries, and scars" of being called to go deeper with people. I feel like I have been fighting for so long against the enemy that is devouring many of the relationships around me. People normally "hate the messenger" or usually don't want to be held accountable for their words and actions. Often when you have to speak truth, you are not as well liked and rarely labeled the "sweet" one.

Isn't ignorance bliss?  Maybe I don't want to closely examine things, go against the grain, or swim against the tide. Deep is messy. Character is hard. The truth hurts. Why should I be the one telling it! When people say, "Why can't you just be happy for me?" I am going to say, "Fine! I am superficial and only care about what is going on at the surface level, so sure, let's go with the flow." Seriousness is for the birds and engineers! Today is a new day. I am going to just smile and tell everyone what they want to hear. It has to be easier!

And then I walked into my hallway and my daughter asked me if her outfit was okay. My first, reaction was to say, "Sure! Looks great. Have a nice day." It's easier; she will think I am cool. What does it really matter? I don't want to fight "it" today! But..... I just couldn't. "Honey, I can see why you like that outfit but let's just look a little closer as to what message that shirt and shorts might be saying to others. Even if that's not your intention could it be taken that way? Can you find another option please?" 

A few minutes later a friend text me and asked if I thought it would be okay for him to date before he was divorced because they have been separated for months and the marriage is over except in paper. AGH! He is not going to like the answer! Just tell him whatever he wants, don't get involved, talked around the issue, don't rock the boat! But ....... I couldn't.  "I believe the wise thing to do is to wait until you have gone through the healing process and unpacked why your 20 year marriage fell apart. Having a girlfriend might cause confusion for your kids and that is the last thing they need right now.  I think maybe the focus should be on your relationship with God, not starting something new."  He replied, "You just don't want me to be happy!" Well, there went my sweet, easy-breezy coasting through life, all in an half an hour of waking up! 

"Kimberley, I never promised you walking with me would easy. I promised I would never leave you. Nowhere does it say in my word that following me won't open you up to ridicule, scorn, and mockery. Do not forget you are in the middle of a battle! A battle for truth, "whatever is pure, honorable, right, admirable, and worthy of praise." I created you to be a fighter! But don't fight against how and why I created you. Do everything in love. And remember the battle is not against people but of the principalities of darkness. I will give you the strength to press on! I will give you my Holy Spirit to guide your way. You must stand for something..will it be Me?"

 "Keep your eyes open for spiritual danger; stand true to the Lord; act like men; be strong; and whatever you do, do it with kindness and love." 1 Cor 16:13-14 (TLB)

"My prayer for you is that you will overflow more and more with love for others, and at the same time keep on growing in spiritual knowledge and insight, for I want you always to see clearly the difference between right and wrong... Philippians 1:9-10a (TLB)

Stain Remover

My husband had this lime green shirt that looked great on him! The other day, I took it out of the dryer and it had stains all over it. He had forgotten to take out his chapstick from his jeans and I didn't check his pockets. So when I dried the clothes the chapstick had melted all over the whole load! I was beyond bummed!

I was determined to try to do anything I could to get these stains out! But no matter what I tried; Spray and Wash, soaking, rewashing, the oils had seeped in and they were just not coming off. As I looked down at the now ruined shirt, I paused. This reminds me of when I first became a Christian. There were a couple of things that I did not think even God could forgive me, some "stains" in my past that no matter what I did; get baptized, volunteer, cook for the homeless, go to church, teach bible study, give money..certain stains were just not going to come out. They were permanent, soaked into my soul, so deeply ingrained into the fabric of my past that no amount of effort in trying to remove them would be successful. I always felt like I was and would always be irreversibly stained. 

Until I came across this verse. 

"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us." 

Ephesians 1:7-8. 

I was floored; these words came off the page and pierced my heart! You see, the word redemption means atonement, deliverance, rescued, repurchased! 

'Kimberley, understand this my daughter. The sacrifice of my son, removed those "stains". There is NOTHING in your past that is not covered by the blood of my son. Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. (Isaiah 1:18). You are set free, forgiven and not just a little, but abundantly! My grace is extravagantly and generously poured out onto you! I purchased those sins....all of them!" 

"...and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin." 1 John 1:7 

Scars

I was looking down at my body and couldn't help but notice all the scars I had. I have one on my face from when I had the chicken pox as a baby. There is one on my lip from a really hot macaroni noodle during my poor days in college. I have a big one on my knee from trying to jump over a fence in Rocky Point and failing. On my hand there is still lead in it from a guy stabbing me with a pencil in the 5th grade. All these scars have stories behind them, memories of some kind of physical pain. 
     
This got me to thinking about all the scars you CAN'T see. The ones on my heart, the scars that have defined who I am, shaped my beliefs, stopped my dreams, or heightened my fears. They often were barriers to me finding joy by shutting out hope or doubting true love. These scars are deeper than the other ones, earned through intense emotional and sometimes physical pain. They do not heal easily and can cause issues for years. Sometimes they have festered with bitterness, unforgiveness, and anger. Sometimes I thought they were healed and am horribly surprised when they suddenly split open and bleed all over again. Band-Aids can't heal them, medicines or other fillers dull them temporarily, but inevitably the pain comes back, maybe even stronger than before.

When I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior one of the first things He did was confront the scars. 
"Kimberley, this heart belongs to me now...this is where the healing begins." Some scars He sealed with His grace and mercy. Others He completely replaced with His unfailing love and forgiveness. But quite a few, He painfully pulled off the scab and let the yuck flow out. This ALWAYS was extremely intense and I did not let go easily. 

He made me deal with my past, walk through the pain, and journey through the years of running and hiding from Him. He shined light into the darkest recess of my wounded heart which, out of self-preservation, I had locked up long ago. 

When I questioned His motives or cried out to Him in fear, He assured me not one of my tears was wasted, not one scar had gone unnoticed by Him. When I felt all alone or only saw "one set of footprints" He told me He was carrying me the whole time because the burdens were too heavy. Whenever I thought He really just didn't understand how hard these things are to deal with, how deep my pain goes, how I just can't open this one back up because the last time, I almost didn't make it.....

He puts out His hands and showed me His scars, the ones He received from the nails that pierced Him to the cross, for me. "Kimberley, I would never ask you to do something that I have not already experienced."

"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:5

“He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” 1 Peter 2:24