Almost 25 Birthdays Together...

December 18th, 1995 we celebrated your 21st birthday together! We had only been dating a month but I wanted to make it special! I didn’t have a lot of money but you are only 21 once...and you chose to hang out with me! So I scrapped the funds I needed to rent a limousine because you had never been in one. I knew then you deserved to be spoiled. I loved surprising you and seeing the look on your face when it pulled up to get you. Priceless! Your smile stayed the same even though the driver almost killed us, he limo was falling apart and the food at dinner was not that good. The way you smiled at me made feel on top of the world and it was your birthday! 

When I look at this picture..I see how young we were. New. Untried. Innocent as to what is to come. Insanely attracted :) You were a hopeless romantic and I was a skeptical observer, waiting for the shoe to drop, for the trust to unravel and you to not be whom you claimed to be. We talked for hours, laughed until we cried, and kissed until our lips were chapped 😍 Standing there with arms wrapped around each other I had no idea that I would be your wife, the mother of your children, your partner in everything. I could not even fathom that you were to become the other half of my soul, the love of my life, my rock, my heart. 

25 years later the shoe never dropped, the trust never unraveled and you were EXACTLY who you claimed to be and much much more! You taught me how to love again by being consistent and kind, even when I tried to push you away. You restored my faith in men who back up their words with actions, showed up, and treated others with such respect. Your love gave me courage to face the pain. Your consistency kept me secure. Your patience gave me the space to figure out how to be me! Your encouragement made me believe in myself when I usually had such deep doubts. The way you served others made me a better person to be less about myself. Your faith in how big your God is humbled me to dream bigger! 

When I look at this picture... I see two ordinary people, complete opposites, on different paths that God put together and used to write an amazing love story to glorify Him. I look at this picture and know how ABSURDLY well I was loved, how blessed I am, and what a treasure I was given with you.

Happy Birthday in Heaven Babe, oh how I wish you were here so I can hold you one more time. Look into your eyes and see myself the way you did. Tell you that I still get butterflies in my stomach when I think of you and my eyes light up when I talk about you. I miss you desperately but I will love you for eternity. #Sideways8

“And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.” 1 John 2:17

New Bathroom, Old Ideas

The last part of the house to be redone was our back bathroom. It was bad...really bad. Not only is it small...really small, but it was literally falling apart. No one but Bryan has used that shower in years. We tried to clean it, scrub it, disinfect it and no matter what it still looked gross. We kept telling him he was going to catch Ebola or the Plague from just being in there. But he LOVED showers...really loved them. He liked that he had one area which was his own space, his quiet time and sometimes would take 30-45 minutes. I would remind him that he was wasting water, time, and seriously it wasn't a luxurious experience so why did he take so long? I might have poked fun of him of few times....(leave me alone how could I not). 

"Bryan, most people have a prayer closet to spend time with God. Not a water closet!" "Babe, are thinking you are bathing in Holy water?' Lakin would say, "Dad you don't have that much hair to wash?"

He would always calmly reply back, "This is where I talked to God, dream, and sort out my day." I would huff and puff, but then smile because he was so right, like usual! 

Because we have lived here for over 20 years and some of the conversations we have had after he has come out of that shower have actually been life-changing for us and many others. Important job decisions were made. Kid problems, finances and arguments worked out. Ministries and business were started. Churches were birthed. The Refuge Center, Amplified Productions, Elements City Church, Eliminate Hunger Food Distribution, Generosity Feeds, Serve Sunday, numerous sound systems designed and much much more all emerged from Bryan's time in his extremely tiny H2O Oasis.

His bathroom is now brand new, all the way down to the studs, thanks to leaking water. Grays, whites, clean, fresh, bigger, and better. Oh how I wish he was here to enjoy it...his space, his closet for prayers and dreams. Oh how I wish we would have done this sooner. He deserved it.

But babe, I had to do something little to give it some pop! The pink is to help me smile and not be so sad when I'm in there now. It reminds me to breathe and smell the "roses" when I am surrounded by the memories of you. It's where I go to cry so the kids can't see me and I want to be near you. And Bryan, I also pray in there a lot :) 

#sideways8 

#Godisstillgood
#Prayermatters
#hotpinkismyfavorite