I want to give you a little background on Jen
and Matt's story. Why the two of them standing up here getting married today is
a huge blessing and a journey that has an overall theme of TRUST. Their
story is not flashy or dramatic. It wasn’t love at first sight and it didn't
happen overnight. But is one filled with hope and awe of how God works in the
lives of people who trust him.
Jen and Matt became friends 4 years ago at a Bible study. A few weeks later, Jen came to Bryan and I and said, "Matt told me he likes me, but I just want to be friends. What do I do?" We told her she had to be honest and tell him the truth. Then Matt came to us and said, "I really like Jen but she just wants to be friends. What do I do?" We told him, "There is not much you can do. But by the way are you in the right space to be dating her? Can you lead her spiritually? Is this the right time?"
After this they grew apart. Feelings got hurt. One wanted a relationship the other wanted to just be good friends. Now they were neither. We encouraged both of them to work on becoming the man and woman God wanted them to be. And to TRUST HIM.
Fast-forward a year. Matt and Jen started hanging out again. And lo and behold, Matt still likes Jen more than a friend. And guess what? Jen still just wants to be friends. Matt comes to us and says, "What do I do? I really feel like she is the one for me?" Again we tell him, there is not much you can do she is just not there yet. You are going to have to TRUST GOD with this.
Meanwhile, Jen is wondering if God has forgotten about her. She has followed Him a long time and be pretty obedient with her life, where is her prince charming? We tell her you have to TRUST HIM. He's got this.
At this point, most guys would have probably given up, cut their losses. What does Matt do? He stays her friend. Which was not easy, and often pretty painful. But he keeps TRUSTING in God. That December he sits in my living room and asks me, “Kimberley, what do I do? I really feel in my heart that Jen is the one for me. I love hanging out with her and just being around her. But this is hard. It’s been three years."
I said to him,
"Matt, if you believe she is the one. You have to trust God to place that
on her heart. You can either quit and walk away and no one would blame you or
you wait. And trust Him."
At this point Bryan and I are silently rooting for Matt. Because in the last 3 years Matt has definitely changed. He seems happier and his spirit is lighter. You can see that he takes his relationship with God a little more serious and has grown so much in his walk with Jesus. He has proven to be trustworthy, steadfast, responsible, and treats Jen great!
4 months later, Matt went away for 10 days to Washington. On the day he was to come home, Jen comes over to talk to us at 10 at night. She says, "I really have missed Matt being gone. I mean I have missed, missed him like as in more than a friend miss him."
We asked her what was
different and what she was she going to do about it?
She said he is my best
friend and I love spending time with him. But she was scared and didn’t want to
make things awkward or lose him if he didn’t like her anymore.
We told her she had two choices, do nothing and just let it be or take a risk and tell him the truth about her feelings. The worst that could happen is he tells you no, but then you have been telling him that for years! You have to Trust God on this.
She text me that night and said, he didn’t say no!
A few weeks
into their relationship, I might have emailed Matt to respectfully let him know
what some of the expectations were for the guy who wants Jen’s heart might be:
Does "this
guy" recognize her beauty on the inside and out? Will he tell her she is
beautiful often and show her by the way her treats her?
Will he push her
outside of her comfort zone so she can become the woman of God she was created
to be?
Will he teach her to
stand up for herself and never let her hide in a closet again because she is
worth more?
Will he lead her
spiritually so she can continue to grow in Christ?
Will he know she is
sensitive and not make her feel dumb when she cries, but yet won't let her
emotions rule?
Will he know that
she loves spending time helping others and try not to ever isolate her?
Will he fight for
her even when she is being ridiculous because he is on her team no matter what?
Will he not be
afraid of conflict and push back if he needs to because she can't win all the
time? Many times growth happens in the fire.
Will he realize that
she is ONE OF A KIND and important to so many?
AGAIN! MOST GUYS WOULD
HAVE RUN AWAY at this point! Here was Matt's response:
I love that list. I
love that God has spent the last few years preparing her and I both for the
kind of relationship He wants us to have.
It's implied that I
am working towards marriage with her and even though there have been hiccups
over the last couple of years; it's what I've wanted for a very long time. I am
continually working on my character and growth and I'm passionate about living
that out alongside Jen. I want to reassure you that I care for her SO
MUCH. She is my best friend and I love her and I know she deserves such great
things.
Above all, I will
treat her in a way that shows her worth and I will fight for her everyday
through conversation, prayer, and my actions. I'm seeking her heart and
it's my desire to keep it safe, confident, courageous and strong.
We joke that Matt
should write a book on slow and steady wins the race. But really the chapters
in Matt and Jen's story are more about TRUSTING GOD even when things didn’t
make sense, trusting Him even when you felt forgotten, trusting God even when
you feel like quitting. Trusting God that he has a plan that is MORE THAN YOU
EVER IMAGINED!
WE LOVE YOU GUYS!
