My first instinct was to not let Lakin go. It's just one game. She will get back too late. Doesn't seem worth all those hours gone for about 40 minutes of playing time. Maybe I should just drive her or have her dad go pick her up. That way I can control at least half of the trip. Right?
Then my worry started getting more intense, if you can believe that, and a little more irrational.....the school is near the border. What if something happens? What is their exit plan? I don't want her going to the bathroom by herself. What kind of safety protocol is in place? School zones are notorious for NOT protecting the students.
Once I began to release the doubts in my heart the floodgates opened up and filled me with anxiety that was almost crippling. I CAN'T LET HER GO! It's not worth the cost.
"Kimberley, For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." (2 Tim 1:7) I know, I know! This is Lakin's life verse that we have prayed over her for years but I am THE MOM! I am allowed to be concerned and fearful of something happening to my daughter. It is my job to protect her!
"Kimberley, I know how much you love Lakin and I hear your mommy's cry, but remember she is mine! I knitted her together in your womb. I have counted every hair on her head. I have numbered her days according to my will. I have created her and have a purpose for her life. You cannot keep her in a bubble. You can't control the world. You cannot "protect" her from every thing."
But God, my heart can't take it if anything happened to her. I want to trust you, I do, but the fear can be overwhelming when it comes to these precious three humans that call me mom. What if I miss something? What if I forget to tell them not to talk to strangers, look both ways when they cross the road, don't be on your phone in the parking lot not paying attention....and, and, and.
"Kimberley, practice what you preach! You have told your daughter at least a hundred times that fear cannot rule her life. You have shown her how to be brave and face obstacles in her path. You have quoted scripture to her from the day she was born and now you must model it. Lay it at my feet and trust me."
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
