Burning Bush in My Bedroom?

In Exodus 3 and 4 Moses is having a conversation with God. He is up on Mt. Sinai and God appears to him in the form of a burning bush. If it wasn't such an epic conversation, I would actually make fun of it because it looks very similar to many "chats" I have with God. (Usually as I am praying in my bedroom).

"Kimberly, I need you to do this." 
"No God, I don't want to. I am not equipped. You are asking too much. Leave me alone."

God is asking Moses to lead His people, the Israelite's, out of Egypt. Okay, that sounds pretty huge especially since they had been SLAVES for the past 400 YEARS! Not to mention the Egyptians were one of the most powerful nations in the world.
 
So of course Moses is a bit skeptical, "Who am I to appear before Pharaoh? Who am I to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt?” God, you have got this wrong! I am not the person for the job. Don't you remember that I left that country a disgraced prince after I killed one of their soldiers? Surely you must have someone better to carry out this task? Someone smarter, more powerful, well liked, richer, anyone but me!

God being God, reassures him by saying, "I will be with you."
 
Moses being human and probably completely freaked out, replies, "Who do I tell them sent me? What if they won’t believe me or listen to me? What if they say, ‘The Lord never appeared to you?'”

God performs a sign. He turns the staff in Moses hand to a snake. This should do the trick. I mean if God can do this then He will make good on his promise to help Moses.  Right?
 
Not exactly. Now Moses starts pleading, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.”

I am sure God took a deep breath and sighed. Come on Moses. What's it going to take? "Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.” God is kind of laying the smack down here. Don't you know who I AM? I am in charge of it all. I will tell you what to say just get your hiney moving.
 
But Moses again pleaded, “Lord, please! Send anyone else.” Moses seems a bit slow doesn't he? A bit stubborn? Fearful? Maybe even a bit selfish? What God is asking him to do certainly doesn't sound comfortable.
 
Does this sound familiar? God asks us to do something and we give him all the reasons why we can't? God reassures us that He will take care of us. We just have to obey. But we hesitate. Drag our feet. Come up with more excuses. Find somebody to agree with us that God has this one wrong. Or we flat out put our fingers in our ears, our hands up and say, "NO! Not going to do it."
 
Moses finally stops his arguing and leads his people out of Egypt. (God did give him, Aaron, his brother to go along too.) It was not easy. He had many problems, serious ones along the way. Think plagues, diseases, even death. But he did obey and he lead an entire nation to freedom!
 
Now, maybe God is not asking you to free a nation. But I will bet, He is asking you to do SOMETHING! And maybe He is not in your bedroom speaking through a burning bush, but again, I bet He has stirred your heart, gently whispered, or keeps bringing the same thing to your mind, wanting you to say YES, I WILL DO IT! What is stopping you? Your pride? Fear? Comfort? Doubts? If Moses said no do you think God would still have freed Israel? You betcha! God's plan, will get done. But where would Moses be? Certainly not talked about in the Bible or being played by Charlton Heston every Easter. God chose him for this specific purpose. God is choosing YOU for His purpose too. But you have to say, "Yes, God! Whatever it takes!"

“If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones....." Luke 16:10

My Paperwork...Fail?

When I first became a Christian I definitely felt like I didn't "fit in" with church people. We didn't have a lot in common. There seemed to be these unspoken rules of how to act or "appropriate" behavior that I didn't know much about. For instance, when going to a white elephant party at the worship leader's house don't bring a gift from the store, Spencers...you know the one in the mall with the blackened out windows? A flower made out of condoms is not funny to Baptists. Who knew? At that time in my life I thought it was somewhat tasteful and mild compared to the parties I had been attending. Or when asked in a small group how much I used to drink, the response, "Well, we could count every finger and toe of all the people in this room, times them by 10 and maybe get close", didn't go over well with the crowd. Every time I made one of these "faux pas" I would usually say a swear word and yell at God, "I told you this wasn't for me. I will never fit in. When they see my paperwork I don't pass the test. I feel like they are putting a stamp on it, FAILED or REJECTED!" My comfort zones were bars or parties. At least there I would be accepted especially as people got drunker."

Am I supposed to blend? Not be completely honest? Just smile and act like I understood everything being said at Bible study? Agree with things that seem absurd to me? I pretty much stood out like a sore thumb. Oh yeah, did I mention that I happened to like the poster "choir boy" of the college department? Yes, Bryan was the complete opposite of me in almost every way. We came from different backgrounds to say the least. Dating him caused me to feel like I had to show people my "paperwork", my qualifications for being good enough for him. Again many times "failed or rejected" came across people's faces when they heard about my past.

One night our college leader asked me to give my story to the group. My first response was "hell.. I mean heck darn NO!" That night I prayed about it, again, maybe yelled a bit. "God, are you kidding me? Tell my story? I am just hanging on here! There is no way I am putting myself out there for all these people to judge me. They already look at me weird and act like I am not good enough for Bryan. Can you imagine the reaction if I really opened up? 
Thanks for understanding. I knew this would be a mistake. You don't really want me to say yes...right? Right?"

"Kimberley, I want you to say yes." 

"No God, No! Please don't ask this me. I am embarrassed. I am scared. They will use this information against me. His sister will be there. His parents will find out. Anything but this!"

"Kimberley, no one in that group, not one, is perfect. You have been created new, through my son. Tell our story. Let them know where I found you and what your life looks like now. Be honest, be real, let them see ME through you. Many will judge but remember your identity is in ME!"

Three weeks later I gave my testimony for the first time, with Bryan's sister sitting on the front row and his ex-girlfriend right next to her. Right before I was to begin, I begged God one more time for me not to do this. His answer was, "Kimberley, trust me. I did not give you a spirit of fear. Go!" 

How did it turn out? Well, I was judged by some. Part of my story that I told was thrown into my face years later when I was about to marry Bryan. But I never regretted that night. That night, I said yes. I obeyed. And have never looked back. My paperwork was bought by His blood on the cross!

"He is so rich in kindness and grace that He purchased our freedom with the blood of His Son and forgave our sins." Ephesians 1:7 (NLT)

Jesus and The Gym

I look around church lately and it has been pretty crowded. Don't get me wrong, I love that people are coming to church ..the more the merrier. But why now? What has changed? I wonder if it has anything to do with the new year? Memberships at gym increase by 30% in January. Is there a connection between people joining gyms because they want to lose weight and people coming to church because they want to change something on the inside? Do people want Jesus and the gym? The problem is that by February only 74% are still going to work out and after six months this number falls to less than 50%. That means over half quit the gym. Is the same thing happening in churches? Are over half the people quitting Jesus after 6 months?
We start with the best intentions but how can we not quit Jesus? How can we make a change that lasts a life time not just temporarily until we lose momentum? First, Jesus shouldn't be a New Year's resolution. He is a relationship. Get to know Him. Spend time with Him. Second, find someone to journey with you. Don't be a lone ranger. God created us to live in community, encourage each other, and share our burdens. Going to church is a great place to start but don't stop there. Connect to a Bible study, Life group, or other ministry. Side note: if something doesn't click or work out, please don't give up. Keep trying different things. Maybe push yourself to meet one new person a week or go out to eat afterwards with a group even if you are uncomfortable. Also, find somewhere to help out or serve. It is amazing when you focus on others and not yourself, it becomes something you look forward to. Finally, remember it is by GRACE that we have been saved, not because we deserved it but because of His AMAZING love for us. When you really make that heart connection, grasp just a little bit of that kind of love..it's not easy to give it up!

"I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God." Ephesians 3:16-19

Girls Gone Bad?

I teach at a middle school. When I look around it breaks my heart at what I see. Young teenage girls coming to school dress like they are going to the bars. Tight, short, skimpy, sexy, revealing are all words that describe what they wear. Yes we have a strict dress code and yes most of these kids come from good families. My first reaction is to roll my eyes and say, "Are you kidding me? What are you thinking?" Then I get mad at the parents. "How can you be so checked out? Don't give me that's what is in or it is hard to find longer stuff. What do you think that dress says to teenage boys?" I get so frustrated because I also talk to the guys. YES they are looking. And yes they are thinking sexual things about YOUR daughter. Many of them said that they are often distracted in class because of what some of the girls are wearing. "Mrs. Lee it is hard to concentrate on WWII when you all you see is butts and boobs. They put it on display. The shorts are very short and the shirts are very tight." (Exact quote)

It breaks my heart because so many parents and students consider all this harmless. "Kids will be kids. My daughter can't help what boys think. She is a good girl how she dresses shouldn't matter. It is what's inside that count." HHMM if it looks like a duck, and kind of acts like a duck..won't it be considered a duck?

Do they know that pornography is ravaging families and the lives of teenagers? Some start as young as 10 years old. Marriages are falling apart. People are going bankrupt, losing their jobs, and living in constant guilt and shame because of it.

• 89% of porn is created in the U.S.
• 260 new porn sites go online daily!!!!!

No, dressing different isn't going to solve the problem. But I for one will tell my daughter that if she sees a guy in a police uniform she expects it to be a police officer. So if she dresses provocatively people will expect her to be just that. Also, her dad will show her that she is loved and valued as a person through his eyes. She doesn't have to look for love in a guy because her dad is checked out and not paying attention. I will tell her, "No! I love her too much for her to wear that." I will fight, hard, against "what everyone else is doing" and my need to be my daughter's friend. Most importantly, I will tell her over and over again that she is the daughter of a mighty, mighty king. He holds her identity not her friends or culture.

So instead of getting upset at the girls at my school, I have decided to....pray. Pray that they will not fall into the cycle of gaining attention through their bodies. That they will learn that they have so much to offer that has nothing to do with what that cute guy thinks. That someone (hopefully their parents) will fight for them, their self-worth, self-esteem by saying, "No, honey. I love you too  much for you wear that, even if everybody else is doing it. You are worth so much more!"

 ^"Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." 1 Timothy 4:12

Mustard Seed...Can I Get Maybe A Peach Seed?

    "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; 
      it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." Hebrews 11:1
 
Sometimes I feel like my faith is so big I can hardly contain it. I want everyone to hear about the Good News and the story of my Jesus. But more often than not my faith seems so small and shriveled. Even after God has shown up over and over again...I still doubt Him. "God are you sure you got this?" "God, are you paying attention?" and maybe even, "Ummm God, I really, really need you to focus. This is important and I don't want you to be silent on this one." 

Life is hard..death occurs, health scares happen, big bills are waiting, personal struggles are continuous, hearts get broken, marriages dissolve, children rebel, houses crumble, jobs fail, people turn away from Him....the list is endless.

Will His love be enough? Will He drop the ball? Will He not answer? Will He just let this one go? Does He get the full picture? I struggle to remember all His promises. All the times He has proven Himself to me, slowly slip my mind. I conveniently forget the hundreds of stories in the Bible of when He showed up; for Moses when He parted the Red Sea or Daniel when He saved him from the lion's den or Jonah from the whale or Joshua in the Battle of Jericho there are too many to even list!  
  

“I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible." Matthew 17:20

 But God, will you really use this seemingly small, little, insignificant bit of faith that I have to move mountains? Don't you get tired of me and my tiny faith? Are you angry at my doubts even after all these years?  

"Kimberley, you are mine. Nothing can separate you from me. I can grow your faith from that small seed as long as you stay connected to me. Remember my promises. Be obedient. Trust me even when you don't feel like it. I will always show up."

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” 

2 Corinthians 12:9

 

Back To Work

Today as I got up for work, I dreaded the thought of going back after two weeks off. I loved having an open schedule; waking up when we wanted to, eating a slow breakfast with my family, going to the park after lunch. I would piddle around my house getting stuff done that I had been putting off for months..because now I had a little extra time. But today it is back to the grind and chaos of getting all five of us ready for the day.
 
So, I am brushing my teeth, grumbling, and I think to myself, "Kimberley, you have a choice to spend your day with a bad attitude or you can CHOOSE to look at this differently. You can choose to be grateful that you have a job, when many don't. You can choose to go to work with a happy heart and bless others who are maybe feeling the same way you are right now. You can choose to be thankful that you are alive and healthy with one more day on this earth. You can choose to look at all the good things around you. Or you can choose to just sit back and complain."
 
Yeah, well right but what if I really like to complain and grumble? "Again the choice is yours but how do you want to write your day? With Me, Me, Me? or Jesus, Jesus, Jesus?"
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for other people." Colossians 3:22

One year and still chugging along...

It has been a year (and a few days), since one of my friends told me I should write a devotional..for real people. As I look back over my blog, there were some months where I was on fire (look at February) and some months where I could barely get it together (sad November). Many of you have sent words of encouragement or left comments, which I really appreciate because to be honest..it is often a struggle to write. Whenever I push the send button I doubt myself. I question, "Did that even make sense?" or "What if that was too much?" or "God, are you sure this is what you want me to say?" My thoughts, feelings, beliefs, convictions, and personal story are all there for everyone to see and critique!! Again, it is like opening up your diary or trying on a bikini in public! AAAAGH!

My hope, my deepest prayer is that I have been obedient and let my words reflect the glory of God. I want to make people laugh, cry with joy, and most importantly point the way to our Creator. I want to inspire people to love more, live more, and enjoy this ride of life they are on. I am humbled and amazed that God would even use such a broken, broken vessel like me. At the end of the day, I want my heavenly father to say, "Kimberley, well done my good and faithful servant."Thank all of you for being on this journey with me... for following me, reading what I write, commenting, and just being encouraging. I will keep on chugging along, keep on blogging, and continue to write even when I don't feel like it :) I can't wait to see what the New Year brings and what God will have us all do for Him!

"As for me, my life has already been poured out as an offering to God. The time of my death is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful. And now the prize awaits me—the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on the day of his return. And the prize is not just for me but for all who eagerly look forward to his appearing." 2 Timothy 4:6-8

Many, Many Blessings....
Kimberley Lee

New Relationship? Don't Lose Your Mind!

Many of us love having a new relationship. We love the excitement of the first date, the first kiss, the long conversations, texting until our fingers fall off, holding hands, laughing together, and just spending time getting to know the other person. Sometimes we get so caught up in all the hype and fun we forget to keep our head screwed on right. We start to lose ourselves or compromise on important things. I recommend having a game plan before you start any new relationship. Failure to plan usually ends up.. well in..failure! I've heard it all before, "I will be different. It won't happen to me. I will listen to people. I am in control.....blah,blah,blah." But let's be honest. Relationships are powerful. Good or bad they have the ability to drastically change your life. Something this serious needs to be well thought out and prayed over...a lot!
 
1. Have your non-negotiables prepared BEFORE you get into a new relationship. This isn't, "I have to have him be 6 feet tall or she has to have blonde hair."  What are the three to four things that you are not willing to compromise on? What are your core beliefs that you will stand firm on, no matter how much "in love" you become?  Maybe something like, "The person I am dating has to be actively pursuing a life with Jesus or I won't give up my relationship with Jesus no matter what or I will remain physically pure until marriage."

2. Have accountability set up with people you trust and won't dismiss when they tell you something you don't want to hear. Too many times to count people kick their accountability partners to the curb or better yet hide things from them. Seriously? Playing hide-and-go-seek is for children not adults trying to figure out a dating life. Who are you really hurting?

3. Don't vomit your past. I don't advocate keeping secrets but I do think it is wise to gradually get to know one another, building on a foundation of friendship and trust before you throw out all your junk. Make sure the other person is stable, mature enough, and ready for you to share.

4. Ask yourself, often, "Am I better person when I am around them?" If the answer is no, run, FAST. Life is hard enough without being around someone who brings you down, makes you feel crazy all the time, or helps you turn into someone you dislike. Look in the mirror...do you recognize the person staring back? And if so do you like that person anymore?

5. You are not buying a car, so get rid of your checklist. This doesn't mean ignore red flags or compromise on your non-negotiables. It means when you buy a car or a house you can ask for your "perfect wish list" but when you are talking about dating a human being having a critical nature or a page long checklist of all your "ideals" might make you miss out on a great person.

6. Don't ignore red flags. If something sits wrong with you or seems off, keep asking questions until you get answers. If it is a red flag in dating it can be a detrimental life-changer in marriage.

7. Talk often about IMPORTANT things. It amazes me how many couples get engaged or even married without really knowing the other person. Get past the superficial and engage in serious conversations that give you an idea of exactly who this person is and what they believe.

8. Don't seclude. It is not healthy to cast off all your friends or ignore your family because you are so obsessed with this new relationship. Keep a balance. Keep people around that will see if you are changing into something you shouldn't or they are seeing things that might be a red flag that you are ignoring.

9. Don't over spiritualized everything. I have heard the "God card" overplayed and used when people want to twist things into their own desires and God has nothing to do with it. Deep down you know if it really is the Holy Spirit guiding you or really your selfishness to get what you want no matter the cost.

10. Take TIME. It is not a race (no matter how old you are). When you're rushing through the relationship you probably are missing out on important milestones. Relationships should be about seasons spent together and living life together in them. If you skip over all this you might be jumping into something without getting the full picture.

11. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO DIFFERENT? This is probably not your first relationship. Ask yourself, how is this one going to be any different than the last one? Dig deep. Be honest. You might be caught in a cycle of continually making one bad decision after another. 

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." -Einstein 

Sadly most people will ignore the above advice and do it all on their own. 

"This is what the Lord says:“ Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans, who rely on human strength and turn their hearts away from the Lord. They are like stunted shrubs in the desert, with no hope for the future."  Jeremiah 17:5-6a

Goodbye 2012..Hello 2013!

As I say goodbye to 2012, I tried to reflect on all the things that occurred. There were good times and bad times, many ups and many downs. Experiences that made me laugh..out loud and some that made me cry..a lot! What did I learn? What can I take with me into the New Year? What do I need to leave behind or let go of?

Things that I am going to take with me in 2013...

1. Love, love and more love.
“I am not sure exactly what heaven will be like, but I know that when we die and it comes time for God to judge us, he will not ask, 'How many good things have you done in your life?' rather he will ask, 'How much love did you put into what you did?” ― Mother Teresa

2. Joy
Nobody can steal my joy. My joy comes from the One who lives in me who is greater than anything else. I can be batter, bruised, even beaten down but true joy cannot be taken.

3. Hope
Even in the darkest times, there is always hope. Hope for a new day. Hope that rises from the ashes. Even a small sliver, a tiny glimpse of light can be grabbed a hold of to get you to tomorrow. My destiny is held in the hand of Jesus. "No power of hell or scheme of man can pluck me from His hand."

4. Boundaries
It is okay to set healthy boundaries with people in my life. I was not born to be a door mat. I cannot do everything. I am not Super Woman. It is okay to say no sometimes even if people get upset.

5. Own who I am..I am MY CHOICES.
I will take responsibility for my actions, my emotions, my feelings, and my responses. I will not push these off on other people or expect them to fix anything for me. I am the daughter of a mighty, mighty king and I will live life trying to make wise choices accordingly.

6. The Truth

The world is noisy. Loud. It offers lots of distractions and false promises. I commit to constantly seeking the truth. Pushing back the darkness that pulls us into despair and addictions. "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

Things that I will leave behind...

1. Unforgiveness
Holding grudges and an unforgiving attitude usually hurts me more than the other person. Bitterness takes root and slowly destroys from within. I have been forgiven many times over and with God's help I will not let the spirit of unforgiveness settle down in my heart for too long.

2. Anger
Anger is not my friend. It often causes me to over react and put my foot in my mouth. Anger is a flashing red light warning me that something else is going on that I need to deal with. "Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end." Proverbs 29:11

3. Negative Thoughts
My thoughts are powerful. What I choose to focus on, think about, and let run amuck in my mind is what will come out of my mouth. I will choose to capture negative thoughts quickly so that they don't control me and become a bad habit.

4. Selfishness
I will try to remember that maybe, just maybe it's not all about me. Most of the time I throw a fit or get upset is because I haven't gotten my way or an expectation hasn't been met. I was not created to be all about Me, Me, Me. I was created to "Love the Lord my God with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my mind and with all my strength. The second is this: ‘Love my neighbor as myself." Mark 12: 30-31. 

I can't do any of this very well if I am focused on the person in the mirror.

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. 

If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. 

If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. 

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. 

Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. 

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” 

― Mother Teresa

Life.....

One of my favorite quotes....definitely something to reflect on for the new year.

“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.” ― Mother Teresa