I Have Almost Died A Million Times!

      For those of you who really know me, I tend to be a bit of hypochondriac. In my defense, if I think I have a disease I don't actually go to the doctors so I consider myself just the hypo:) In my mind, I have fought off the West Nile disease at least three times. Mosquitoes love me! I found a spot on my leg and convinced myself it was a rare case of melanoma. When I see bruises of course it might be Leukemia. My headache could be a brain tumor along with numerous other cancer possibilities or maybe the beginnings of a blood clot. 
      I also like diagnosing others. I just know the people who come to my house who get cold easily have an iron deficiency or the guy who is tired all the time has a thyroid issue. It has gotten to the point where my husband has banned all medical books from coming into the house. When I try to sneak one in from the library he gives me 'the look" and tells me he doesn't want to hear not one thing from it no matter how "serious" I think it is. He also doesn't really want me to watch the shows like ER or the Baby Channel on TV, especially when I was pregnant. I try to avoid websites like WebMD which give me instant access to all kinds of information for me to obsess about.

      Although sometimes this can get humorous, I know this fear is not of God.

^{"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? "}  Matthew 6:25

     So if it is not of God, it might be a tool of the enemy. If I get distracted from the now and focus instead on the "what ifs" I can become paralyzed. I know my fear comes from losing my best friend at 20 and my grandmother a few months later. These times were dark and burying the two most important people in the world.... broke my spirit. I did not have God in my life then to lean on, instead the enemies lies crept in. "You weren't made to be happy..."

      The worst case scenario is death...but really if it were not for my kids and husband I am not afraid of that. I will get to dance with Jesus and sit at His feet. But I do fear leaving my beautiful family....Every day I pray against the lies and the fear that does not come from my heavenly Father. His plan for my life is perfect. I choose to trust Him and do what He has to do for His glory :)

Going into surgery ..with pretty pink toenails!!!

      In about two hours I am going into surgery to get my gallbladder out. I am totally not looking forward to the pain, the side effects, a tube stuck down my throat, or somebody cutting into my belly. I will have scars so wearing my bikini anymore is out also! (lol) I decided since they take away much of my dignity by giving me a very ugly, not stylish gown to wear, with no back, take away my underwear which is like a safety net for me, and make me put on that surgical cap that messes up my hair and does not match my ugly gown, I will at least go in with....pretty pink toenails. That's right! I got up this morning knowing I can't have any food or water...(gasp) all day, took a shower, but couldn't put on my lotion or deodorant (stinky), and rushed out to the salon. I might be a hot mess in a few hours but I will have beautiful feet. It will give me comfort knowing the rest of my body is wrapped up in horrible hospital attire that does nothing for hiding all my flaws but my toenails will be flashing  "HOT PINK" and saying this girl does have style :)

The Journey Begins or Actually Continues...

      Twelve years ago, when I was six months pregnant with our first child, Bryan came to me and said, "Kimberley, God gave me a vision. It's time to go." What? Time to go? You want to leave the church you have been going to since you were ten? The church where we met? Where I was baptized? Where we got married? Where we have been doing ministry for the last five years? The church where I wanted to raise my kids and tell them all the stories we had created within these walls? "Yes, Kimberley God gave me a vision that He wants a community center in midtown. A place where people can find refuge, peace, a purpose, real relationships, and most importantly find Jesus. I don't know exactly what it looks like or where we go from here but it's time to move! Are you in? I can't do this without you."
      Bryan, when I agreed to become your wife I said yes to follow you where ever you go. I know your heart and I trust your spirit. With everything I have I will support you. The journey began....
     We could not have scripted the last decade. So many experiences, so many people, so many paths led us to now. Bryan has been on staff at Pantano for six years but the vision was always there. Last month, the elders and leaders of the church gave Bryan permission to take Elements and become a church plant in midtown Tucson. He is going to spend the next year growing and building to get ready to launch, by 2013. HUGE!!! The journey continues.....
     What does this mean? Well, don't have a lot of the details worked out. But when God says move, we are choosing to obey. How can you help? Pray...pray...pray! Pray for wisdom and guidance. Pray against the attacks on our family. Pray for courage to keep going when the mountain seems too high to climb. Pray that God will give people a heart to come along. Pray that as we push against the darkness of Tucson, God's glory will be revealed in an amazing way. Pray for signs of wonders and miracles that show this city who reigns! 

 ^"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should." Ephesians 6:18-20

The Flag

THE FLAG

Goosebumps travel up and down my arms
tears well in the corner of my eye;
I walk a little taller, my backs a little straighter
As I look at the flag waving in the sky.

The rows of red remind me
of all the blood that was shed;
The lives that were honorably given
the thousands that are now dead.

The stripes of white symbolize
the great, the pure, the proud;
Who paid the ultimate price
I sing their praises out loud.

The patch of blue, I hold true to my heart
It's the color of uniform I wear;
As I join the ranks to defend my country
I take this oath I swear.

Together the brilliant white stars
make a united front so strong;
We fight to the death for freedom
to the mightiest country we belong.

When I see the American flag
folded on a coffin, or lowered at half-mast;
I take a moment to reflect
about its colorful past.

The flag demands the greatest respect
it symbols our right to be free;
We uphold our duty to serve it
Here in Air Force ROTC!

Cadet Kimberley Raulerson 
Northern Arizona University
Det 021
1995

I wrote this poem my senior year of college two months away from commissioning. Unfortunately I was in a car accident a few weeks later, which medically discharged me from the opportunity to serve in the United States Air Force. I will never forget the camaraderie formed with the cadets in my detachment, bound by a common goal to serve our country with determination, dedication, and discipline.