Growth Has A Price

"When the storm is out on the ocean and the violent wind gets to blowing......oh take me back, all the way back, to my first love!" 
(Take Me Back by Maverick City Music)

Lord, I want to be whole! I want to be free! I want to be so sensitive to your Spirit that I say what you want me to say, see things how you see them, act like you would act, and love like you love! I want to forgive! I want be renewed and restored! Help me to hunger for your presence and thirst for your word! I want to offer everyone you put in my path; your light and hope!

I don't want to self-protect or build walls that hide all that you have redeemed in me!

I don't want to hesitate to trust or love others because I think the risk is too high.

I don't want my wounds and scars to SCREAM LOUDER than my FAITH!

I won't remain stuck in my hurt, with my head down, going around in circles, lost in the feelings that get me nowhere.

I don't want to pretend or stay superficial because I am afraid people won't like the real me.

Fear has no place here. It takes up too much space. It crowds out your grace, your mercy, your abundant promises, and your truth.

Lord, help me to have a posture of humility rather than pride that comes so natural and robs me of your blessings.

This season of winter will not hang around forever....the "SON" has not left me. His radiance and warmth faithfully draws me closer. Springtime always comes after the cold and the thawing of my heart begins. Seeds of hope take root and begin to break through the hard soil. When the storm blows over there is fresh ground for new growth, new sweet fruit, new opportunities, news songs, and endless possibilities. He is ALIVE in me doing a new thing!

I will not let the enemy steal my songs of praise, my worship will rise up and my soul will still declare His Holy name!

I CHOOSE joy no matter the circumstances.
I BELIEVE in your promises!
I have HOPE that holds on through the strongest of storms.

God you are so good. You are working even when I can't see it. You are there even when I can't feel you. You have never let me go.

Here is to new beginnings, however painful it might have been to get here.
Take me back to my first love......... you Jesus!

"Even the wilderness and desert will be glad in those days. The wasteland will rejoice and blossom with spring crocuses. Yes, there will be an abundance of flowers and singing and joy! The deserts will become as green as the mountains of Lebanon, as lovely as Mount Carmel or the plain of Sharon. There the Lord will display his glory, the splendor of our God. With this news, strengthen those who have tired hands, and encourage those who have weak knees." Isaiah 35:1-3

Recycled!

In the US we are pretty good about recycling. In 2009, Americans recycled 82 million tons of materials.(kab.org) We go to thrift stores for clothing, shoes, and costumes that might have barely been worn. We try to find old furniture to renovate turning something old and trashy into something new and relevant. Most of us love pitching in to do our part to save the earth to cut down on waste. 

I think God is kind of like that too. He loves to recycle. He knows that we live in a broken, sinful world that causes pain and destruction all around. He knows life can be hard and some of us have been hurt... terribly. Instead of saying, "Oh just forgive and forget or that's what you get.." He says, "My precious, precious child. I am so sorry that this has happened. Every tear you cried was noticed. Every bad choice I grieved because I knew the consequences would be damaging. The wounds you have collected that seem so ugly now...I will cover them with the blood of my son. I will hold you in my arms surrounded by my perfect love until you believe that I love you just the way you are, SCARD and all. I will take what the devil is using to keep you fearful, ashamed, condemned and make you "beautiful" again. You are mine, bought, redeemed, and LOVED!"

God doesn't WASTE a hurt. When we are healed and transformed through His grace and mercy, we can point others struggling with the same issues to Him.
His glory shines through when we REFUSE to let our past define us and instead use our trials, tribulations, baggage, and sin to HELP and COMFORT others. 

The other day, I sat in front of a 23 year female lost in confusion because of the way she had been living her life the last few years. She confessed to feeling like she was a bad person who is unworthy, unlovable, and just a mess. I smiled and with tears in my eyes said, "At your age I felt exactly that same way. And the person who is sitting before you today is living proof that God TRANSFORMS lives and uses EVERYTHING for His glory. Trust in Him and someday you will be on this side of the table. I promise!" 

God "recycles" those who follow Him.

"All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us." 2 Corinthians 1:4

Rotten Meat

A couple of years ago I sent Bryan to the store with a list of groceries to get. He likes the list to be very specific so he doesn't mess up. When he came home and we started unpacking the bags, I asked him where the pot roast was. "Honey, did you get the meat?" He of course was defensive, "Of course I got it. I followed the list to a T." We went through every bag, looked in the car, and around the house. We even called the store to see if he left it at the checkout. The pot roast was nowhere to be found. Although we were perplexed about where it went, we felt we had given enough effort in trying to track down. Case closed.

A few days later we noticed a distinct foul smell in the car. It stunk. We blamed our middle son's shoes. We blamed the petrified chicken nugget lost in the seats. But by the end of the week the smell was unbearable. Maybe a small animal crawled in and died without us knowing. Bryan fed up with our car smelling like death, decided to investigate further. About a half hour into tearing apart the Excursion, he came into the house holding his nose and a plastic bag. "Kimberley, I found the pot roast!" Seven days in hundred degree weather plus baking inside our closed vehicle, equals one horrible smell!!!!


Sin is kind of like that too. The longer you ignore it the more it starts stinkin'. You might give a little effort in trying to seek out the sin that's rotting away, maybe look under a few car seats, give a halfhearted attempt in searching out the root cause. You might also try to place blame on someone else, like we did on Landen's shoes or the chicken nugget. "I wouldn't be doing these things if so and so______(fill in the blank). You may call a few people for help or justification. Trust me you can always find someone else to agree with you that your sin is not that bad. Finally, most of us just give up. Breaking the cycle of sin is hard. It becomes easier to accept the sin in our lives and pretend that it really doesn't smell. But just like the pot roast, sin left unattended starts stinking up.... our souls. "For the wages of sin is death.." Romans 6:23. 

This can't be more explicit, the intent is pretty clear. Sin equals death. There is no way around it. There is no way to stick our head in the sand and pretend it won't happen to us. There is no way to escape the consequences. Sin separates us from the one who created us.

What do we do? How can we be reunited with God? The answer? Jesus.

^"For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin—because anyone who has died has been set free from sin." Romans 6:6-7. 

He came to set us free so we are no longer slaves to our sin. But you must choose. You cannot serve two masters. Either you are living in your sin and doing nothing about it or you are living in the victory and power of Jesus. 

"Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living." Romans 6:10-11

Life At 40!

Today as I turned 40 I wanted to look back over my life and try to figure out what I learned if anything.....

High school seemed so epic but really nothing that was important there is important in the real world. The most popular people didn't end up better off and their opinion doesn't matter.

Whoever said "Sticks and stone may break my bones but words will never hurt me"-LIED. Words are powerful and can be very painful. I have seen them destroy others.

Life is not fair. A guy who shoots a ball in a net gets paid millions while a teacher who shapes the minds of the future makes just above the poverty level. Husbands leave, children get sick, and loved ones die, but we must go on, picking up the pieces after we have been torn apart.

Most people don't want to be held accountable for their words or actions. The person in the mirror can be painful to deal with.

Character Counts. Really. Doing what is right is still right even if no one else is doing it.

Choices matter. Doing what is wrong is still wrong even if everybody else is doing it.

Most people have superficial relationships because it is easier. To go deeper requires a lot of hard work and investment.

Money doesn't make you happy but it sure can be a lot of fun to have and it does hide the pain for a while.

We are so bored with our own lives that we sit in front of the TV and watch reality shows about crazy people.

Real friends are hard to find. The ones who not only hold your hand but hold you up when the storms of life try to take you down.

The potential for evil resides in all of us. So much depends on whom we let form our character.

People are constantly trying to fill the emptiness inside, the void, with anything and everything.

The world is full of suffering and we Americans often turn a blind eye and just change the channel.

I have learned that FAITH can move mountains, LOVE can heal deep wounds, KINDNESS goes a long way, LAUGHTER warms the heart, one person can make a difference, and true FRIENDSHIP is a treasure to hold on to. I have learned to count my BLESSINGS every day and be THANKFUL for all the good in my life. 

But most importantly I have learned that no matter what GOD created me to be one of His masterpieces and His love will never fail. He keeps His promises and surrounds me with His mercy and grace. He numbered the hairs on my head and no tear that I have shed has gone unnoticed.

"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." 

1 John 4:4

Footprints

"Some people come into our lives, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same." -Franz Peter Schubert

I saw this quote in a magazine and it stopped to make me think....who has left a footprint on my heart? And am I leaving footprints on someone else's heart? What exactly does this really mean? A footprint is a mark left by, an impression made for purposes of identification, an impact on the environment.
Take that and apply it to our relationships. When we get together with friends, family, co-workers, strangers what kind of impression are we making? I am not talking about looking picture perfect, acting like we have it all together or saying all the "right" things. When a person walks away from you what do they leave with? In our house, we have a saying that when someone leaves we want them to be less alone, less hurt then when they came. Sometimes this is hard. Sometimes I just don't feel like it, I am too busy, I am a mess myself, I don't have much left over for others. Then I remember, people before projects..give until it hurts, then give some more. 
I also want to be identified by my footprint. I want the love that has been given to me by Jesus to be steadfast in whom I am. The marks I leave on people's heart would come from Him and not me. I want my impact on this world to be more than recycling. I want to make a difference not to get gold stars, tax breaks, or a plaque but because of the sacrifice on the cross.
I don't want my footprints to be like a bull in a china shop crashing around breaking things. I don't want to trample over people in the name of religion or beat someone with my beliefs. I want to live my life consistent with the One who gave me His. And I definitely think that it would be a travesty to be so focused inward that I never leave any footprints.
Are you leaving footprints on people's heart? Are you stomping on them with boots? Are you not even leaving a trace of who you are?

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." Philippians 2:3-4

Bed, Bath & Beyond on Good Friday!

I ran into Bed, Bath & Beyond to pick up a blanket and was in a rush because Bryan had to get to work. I ran over to the check-out clerk and just wanted her to hurry up so I could get home. As she is ringing me up she asks, "Do you celebrate Easter?" I said, "Yeah, I do." She then says, "I am not a religious person and I wonder what does Easter really mean?"

I looked up at her and froze! All the theology I had ever learned and Christian 101 flashed through my mind... this is my moment and I couldn't figure how to get it out! The old guy behind me was tapping his foot and giving me a dirty look. A whisper....."Kimberley, testify to what you know."

"Easter is important to us because we believe Jesus died on the cross for our sins on Friday and rose from the dead on Sunday."

The cashier paused and exclaimed, "That's what I thought but wasn't sure. I grew up in Texas where it was shoved down my throat so I am really not that into it, you know."

I replied, "Well, my husband is a pastor at the church right down the street. At 5:00 on Sunday nights we meet. It's your age group and we won't shove anything down your throat. Maybe you could come check it out?"

She said, "Maybe I will."

I got into my car a little shook up. "God, did I say the right thing? Did I represent who you are? Did I even make sense? There is so much more I wanted to share! Do you think she will come to church?" I drove home listening to KLOVE and I started crying, crying because that is what Easter is about.

Easter is about sharing the Good News. The news that Jesus Christ came for everyone, not in judgment, not to condemn but to save the world through Him. My words were not close to perfect, they were not profound, they probably didn't inspire the check-out girl. But I was able to get out the basics and invite her to experience more. Maybe I should go back next week to that store:)

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. John 3:16-17