On January 31, 2017 my world
stopped turning. Flipped upside down. When I crawled into bed that night
hoping to get some sleep, I had no idea that our family's normal would be
completely changed a few hours later. We had just returned from dinner,
where we actually had a fun time laughing and joking with each other. We came
home, did homework, packed lunches, and talked about when Lakin was going to
take her driver’s test. At 10:00
PM instead of counting sheep, my husband and I were on our way to the Emergency
Room with our sixteen year old daughter. It wasn't because she seemed sick. She
didn't have a fever, a stomachache, a cough, bleeding, or anything else you
might think would send us out in the middle of the night.
Everyone keeps asking the question, "How did you guys know?"
Well we didn't, kind of....
A couple of weeks before this, Lakin made the comment after school, "Mom I
am so thirsty! I ran out of water at school and my lips are really dry
too." I told her to get something to drink and put Aquaphor on, it cures
everything.
Nothing should have triggered me. It is completely normal for a teenager to
have dry lips and be thirsty, in January, when it is cold outside. She also had
just gotten her braces off and was fitted for her retainers. It made sense
that adjusting to wearing these were causing these symptoms. But for some
reason my heart did a little flip. I looked at her and said in a very casual
way, "What if you have diabetes?" She got mad at me of course, like a
usual hormonal 16 year old girl. My husband even told me that was not
funny. Bad joke.
I felt silly for saying it out loud and had no idea where that thought came
from. But I couldn't stop the unsettling feeling that something wasn't
right. I decided to watch to see if she got up in the middle of the night to go
pee a lot, which is another sign of diabetes. She didn't! Not once. So I
chalked it up to being an over-reactive mom with a slight bent towards
hypochondria :)
A few days later she went over to a friend's house after school. She said she
fell asleep and took a nap. I asked her if she was feeling okay. She said she
just felt a little tired and had a headache. But again, she had stayed up late
the night before studying for a test and had started her period which always
puts her in a whole different category of crazy!
There was an explanation for every symptom and none of these were major
enough to set off alarms bells. Mild headache, thirsty after school, and a
little more tired and cranky. That describes every teenager I know!
What made us think we should take her to the ER? That night, after we all were
tucked in ready to go to bed, Lakin came into our room and bounced on our bed.
She looked fine on the outside, cheeks were rosy, and she
definitely wasn't "acting" sick. "Hey guys I am really
thirsty and really hungry." My first thought was, "Well eat snack,
get a drink, and go to bed."
But my stomach dropped. My mind started spinning and retracing the past few
weeks, something is not adding up. She just ate a big meal. She
shouldn't be hungry. She is thirsty but not peeing more so it doesn't make
sense. Denial set in almost immediately. It doesn't seem too abnormal,
does it? This isn't what diabetes looks like! She would be sicker right? Lakin hasn't even gone to the regular doctor in over 12 years, she is never ill!
"Lakin, go get your dad's meter we need to check your sugar." I could
see it in her eyes. She knew something was off. I started praying or actually
begging, "Please God, don't let this be diabetes. Please God, don't let
this be true. NOT HER! NOT NOW! NOT EVER! Don't do this...."
Yes, the reason we had a meter at home is because her dad has been
a Type 1 diabetic since he was 11 years old. But please don't be tempted to
think, "Well they should have been prepared because of Bryan." We
were not. When Bryan and I first got together the statistics were less than 12%
of him passing it on to any children we might have, if at all. It is an auto-immune
disease with no clear answer as to why the body attacks itself. Is it caused by
a virus? Genetics? The environment? She had made it to 16. I thought
we were in the clear!
The first time we checked her sugar Bryan said the meter wasn't working and he
had to do it again. I knew, he wasn't telling the truth. I saw his face change
slightly with a seriousness and concern. He checked it a second time. The
number came back.... it read 472. What does that mean? Well, the normal
person's blood sugar is between 70-140. Is there another explanation or reason
for having a number this high? No. It is like being pregnant. If the two lines
are there, you are pregnant. You can't kind of be. Either you are or you are
not. The same with sugars. To read this high you are diabetic. Your body is not
producing enough insulin to keep it in check.
With tears in my eyes, I quietly told Lakin she probably had Type 1 diabetes
and she needed to go get dressed. We had to go to the ER. We gathered her
in our arms to pray for courage and strength to deal with this. I felt time had
stopped and went into survival mode. I had to be strong for her but inside I
was dying and so confused! What do we do? Who do we call? What is the next
step? Why her? Haven’t I given you enough God? My mind scrolled through all the Bible verses I have hidden in my heart over the years, but I couldn't find the comfort I was desperate for! My daughter was just diagnosed with a chronic illness that would affect every part of her for the rest of her life! I didn't want cliches thrown at me no matter how heart felt they were, I was pissed and devastated! Nothing made sense anymore…
