Flashbacks of my childhood and experiences with ex-boyfriends slammed into me and caught me off guard! It was like a movie reel flipping through a horror film or at minimum a bad drama! Growing up I felt so many times like I was falling apart. Piece by piece. The lies. The hurt. The fear. The abandonment. The loneliness. The pain. The words in the song pierced my heart. It was like they were meant for me....
"But piece by piece he collected me
Up off the ground where you abandoned things, yeah
Piece by piece he filled the holes
That you burned in me at six years old
And you know,
He never walks away
He never asks for money,
He takes care of me
He loves me
Piece by piece he restored my faith
That a man can be kind and a father could... stay"
"Piece by piece I fell far from the tree
I will never leave her like you left me
And she will never have to wonder her worth
Because unlike you I'm going to put her first
And you know,
He'll never walk away,
He'll never break her heart
He'll take care of things,
He'll love her
And piece by piece he'll restore my faith
That a man can be kind and a father should be great"
Of course, I started crying, as I'm trying to drive. I think, "Oh no my kids are going to think I'm weird. Again. The tears keep falling.
But my tears were not ones of sadness! Sounds crazy right? I was crying because I was overwhelmed with LOVE! Yes, seeing those past images was hard but the stronger feeling that pushed all that away was this song, these words, described my husband! He helped collect the pieces. He never walked away. He takes care of me and loves me. He restored my faith that a man could be kind and a father could stay and be great. My children will never know what it is like for their dad to turn his back on them or wonder about their worth because he left them."
I am crying because deeper than the love of Bryan is the love of my Savior! My worth does not come from my family, my past, or even my husband. Who I am is a Child of God! He determined how much I am worth by putting His son on the cross. Jesus took my brokenness and put all the pieces back together again. He healed the wounds that were so deep. Burned in my soul. He restored my faith by showing me His perfect love. That I didn't have to earn or doubt.
My daughter thought I was upset and started rubbing my shoulder. I stared her in the eyes and said, "I am crying tears of joy because your dad is all of those things! More importantly God is the one who guides your dad and loves us beyond anything we can ever imagine!"
"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3: 17-19
