THIS ONE IS FOR THE BULLIES WHO SAID HE COULDN'T!

Thursday afternoon Landen's flag football team played for the Championship against one of their rivals. The game was intense. The other coaches were screaming and yelling, calling out his number for the players to attack, parents on their sidelines got ejected for being ugly, flags were being thrown all over the place, and the clock never seemed to run down. We were ahead until the last 5 minutes when they scored a Hail Mary touchdown. We went into overtime, each getting the ball on the 10 yard line. We both scored. Now we were in double overtime!!! The sidelines were packed with teachers, parents, and friends. We were cheering them on but at moments it was so quite because we were waiting to see what happened next. They got the ball and through numerous tough plays we stopped them from scoring. We had one last chance to make it into the end zone. HUT..HUT.. the quarterback threw the ball right towards LANDEN! As you can tell he is a big guy. His position is left tackle, an offensive lineman. They are there to be a brick wall and are not known for their speed. My breath caught, I felt like I stopped breathing! OH NO!!! If he drops it, or falls, or gets his flag pulled it's over. He runs as fast as he can..... straight over that magical line and SCORED THE WINNING TOUCHDOWN! All his teammates and the sidelines stated chanting his name, the crowd went wild, and this mom, after I could breathe again, I said a silent prayer, "Thank you Jesus! Thank you Jesus for giving him his moment!"

You see this moment was bigger than football, bigger than a touchdown, even bigger than a championship game. This moment was about my son knowing that God has a plan for his life. That God didn't make a mistake making him. Because a few years ago, Landen was struggling, painfully! 

He was always a big kid and of course in elementary school anything different is an opportunity to be made fun of, which they did. He was called names, made to feel stupid because he wasn't as fast as some of them, and not picked for teams because they didn't think he could play because of his size. One night as I was putting him to bed I noticed he had tears in his eyes. My son looked up at me and said words no mother wants to hear, ever!! "Mom, I am kind of mad at God for making me this way. I want to ask him if he made a mistake." My heart broke. Into a million pieces. I wanted to go beat up all those bullies at school who were tearing apart my precious boy!

I grabbed his face and said, "Landen, you are PERFECTLY and WONDERFULLY made! You are not a mistake! God has a plan for your life. Be brave and HOLD ON because it will all work itself out. I promise! Just wait until middle school when you will grow into this body. It will all come together! Don't let others pull you down. Live your life with integrity and confidence that you have a huge heart which is way more important than how fast you can run." I went to bed crying for him and for all the other kids who are bullied into thinking they are a mistake! Or less than! 

In a week, I know that a middle school championship will mean nothing in the big scheme of things. Our school has a closet full of broken and dusty trophies. I don't even care if he ever plays football again. But to this kid and this mom, that winning touchdown yesterday......that's to all the bullies who said he couldn't!!! Thank you Jesus, for giving him his moment!

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

    your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalms 139:14

She Comes Home in 48 Hours!

I sent my 14 year old daughter off to Washington DC and New York for eight days. She was going with her 8th grade class to visit all the historical museums, memorials, monuments, and buildings that are the political foundation of the United States America. Throw in a Broadway play, shopping in Times Square, and a Yankees game, and she had the opportunity to experience a trip of a lifetime!

And I didn't go with her...I wanted to make those memories with her. I wanted to share in all those amazing experiences and take pictures together capturing those moments. But I didn't go...As I saw her walk off with her friends at the airport my heart literally lurched in my chest. Wait! Wait for me! She can't go by herself. I will go to protect her. I will be there just in case anything goes wrong. If she gets sick I can handle it. If she has friend troubles I will guide her through it. I will make sure she doesn't get lost, brings her jacket if it’s cold, has her umbrella in case it rains, gets enough sleep, eats right, puts her money in a safe place...and, and, and! But I didn't go!

I knew, deep in my heart, that I had to begin the painful process of her growing up and making decisions and choices without me. She turns 18 and goes off to college in four years! I know I have to spend this precious time I have left, helping her prepare to face the world on her own. It was time to start letting her go. 

"GOD! I am not strong enough to do this! I think this is cruel and unusual punishment. She has never even been on a plane or out of the state without us! So many bad things can happen. So many things can go wrong. She is not ready. I don't like going to bed at night and not seeing her in her room. We drive to school every morning together. It will be quiet and lonely. I would never recover if something happened to her. It's like a piece of my heart is missing already and it hurts!"

"Kimberley, my precious, hysterical child, I GOT THIS! Her name is written on the palm of my hand. I created her and have a plan for her life. Give me your anxiety, your worries, your fear, and let me comfort you and give you strength to carry on. Your job is to love Lakin and raise her to be independent and have faith in Me! You have been teaching her since she was little to be courageous and confident for such a time as this! She is the daughter of a mighty, mighty King who loves her beyond anything you can imagine. Trust me with your daughter!" 

Worry happens when we assume responsibility God never intended us to have.

"Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Bubble Wrap!

I love bubble wrap! I love popping all the little bubbles. I love how you can wrap things up to protect them and feel secure they probably won't break. I love how it takes up so much space in a box that it takes a few minutes to get to your present or gift. Bubble wrap gives off the impression of "fragile, precious cargo inside."
 
As much as I love this stuff to keep THINGS safe, I have noticed that some PEOPLE around me seem to have encased themselves in kind of a "life bubble wrap"! Giving off the impression, "Leave me alone. I am in protection mode." There are many reasons why we might do this, some completely valid; hurt, rejection, abuse, fear, insecurities, doubts, hard circumstances, or maybe just being stuck. Instead of dealing with issues, we wrap one more layer around us, fighting off the feelings. Hoping the 'bubbles' will keep us from the pain the next time around. We wrap and wrap and wrap ourselves until one day we are so bound up we don't even recognize who we are anymore. What started out as protection is now suffocating us. Dodging future pain, running from all the possible problems, fear of what might happen again.. keep us from experiencing all of life. When you try to block out the 'bad' the 'good' has trouble getting through too.
 
I know life can be hard and constantly throwing you curve balls. That sometimes the pain can make you feel like you will never be able to breath freely again. Some days it takes everything in you just to get out of bed. I know how it seems like life will never be okay again...but I also know there is a HOPE! His name is Jesus.
 
I dare you, with His help, to start unwrapping. To face each day with courage, knowing He has your back. Refusing to live a life encased in 'Bubble Wrap' because the cross has freed you. It is okay to be scared. But whenever you feel, "AAGGHH! This is too hard. I can't do it. The cost is too high!" Jesus replies, "My precious, precious child. Trust me. I know the high price of love. That's why I got on that cross for you."

       "Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand!
         Never  again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you." 
                                                                                 Galatians 5:1 (MSG)

          "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you
            trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by 
                          the power of the Holy Spirit."        Romans 15:13 (NLT)

I Have Almost Died A Million Times!

      For those of you who really know me, I tend to be a bit of hypochondriac. In my defense, if I think I have a disease I don't actually go to the doctors so I consider myself just the hypo:) In my mind, I have fought off the West Nile disease at least three times. Mosquitoes love me! I found a spot on my leg and convinced myself it was a rare case of melanoma. When I see bruises of course it might be Leukemia. My headache could be a brain tumor along with numerous other cancer possibilities or maybe the beginnings of a blood clot. 
      I also like diagnosing others. I just know the people who come to my house who get cold easily have an iron deficiency or the guy who is tired all the time has a thyroid issue. It has gotten to the point where my husband has banned all medical books from coming into the house. When I try to sneak one in from the library he gives me 'the look" and tells me he doesn't want to hear not one thing from it no matter how "serious" I think it is. He also doesn't really want me to watch the shows like ER or the Baby Channel on TV, especially when I was pregnant. I try to avoid websites like WebMD which give me instant access to all kinds of information for me to obsess about.

      Although sometimes this can get humorous, I know this fear is not of God.

^{"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? "}  Matthew 6:25

     So if it is not of God, it might be a tool of the enemy. If I get distracted from the now and focus instead on the "what ifs" I can become paralyzed. I know my fear comes from losing my best friend at 20 and my grandmother a few months later. These times were dark and burying the two most important people in the world.... broke my spirit. I did not have God in my life then to lean on, instead the enemies lies crept in. "You weren't made to be happy..."

      The worst case scenario is death...but really if it were not for my kids and husband I am not afraid of that. I will get to dance with Jesus and sit at His feet. But I do fear leaving my beautiful family....Every day I pray against the lies and the fear that does not come from my heavenly Father. His plan for my life is perfect. I choose to trust Him and do what He has to do for His glory :)