Rose-Colored Glasses

A few years ago, my sister asked me if I thought I looked at Bryan through rose-colored glasses. I answered, "I don't know, why?" She went on to say, "Well, sometimes he does or doesn't do certain things that would drive me crazy but they don't seem to bother you. I wonder if you see him the same way others do?"
      I stopped to think...."Huh? Have I missed something? Should I be more irritated? Is he "getting away" with something? Am I delusional? Mistaken? Do I really not see him as others do and if so is that a bad thing?" After a few minutes of all this chaos running through my mind, I literally shook my head loose (like you see on cartoons) of these thoughts. Instead of the paranoia and mistrust, images of our past 17 years together flashed before my eyes.

• I saw him on our first date all dressed up, new haircut, bearing a beautiful red rose. He took me to a park and set up a candlelight dinner with take-out from my favorite restaurant. 
• I saw him on our wedding day looking at me like I was the only person in the world, feeling so loved and cherished.
• I remembered how he took care of our newborn daughter and me after I fell and broke my arm even though he had never even babysat before. 
• I remembered the support he gave me when we lost our twins.
• I remembered how he got up for almost every single feeding and changed more diapers than me.
• I saw the picture of him bringing me water after I had just screamed my head off at him.
• I saw all the times he has taken out the trash or cleaned a toilet because I told him when we were first married I didn't like to do those.
• I remembered how he humbled himself to hang Christmas lights one year, in the freezing cold, just to feed our family.
• I remembered all the nights I woke him up at 2 or 3 in the morning because I was scared or anxious. He didn't get irritated but either prayed over me or just talked to me until I fell back asleep.

      Do all those "memories" overshadow that he keeps buying bigger garbage cans so he doesn't have to take it out as much or he leaves his shoes everywhere or he is often late....YES, most of the time, it does! Because I CHOSE to remember his loving traits more often than nitpicking about all his faults. (What if he did that to me? I would be in big trouble) I pray constantly, "Please God, let me love this man well. I don't always know what healthy love looks like but I know I don't want my critical nature to tear him down. God, let me see him as You do. Let me focus on the good in him rather than the negative. Help me to CAPTURE my thoughts." I chose everyday how I want to "see" my husband. It can be hard and I often fail. But then I ask God to remind me and play back our life together, over and over and over until I change my heart.

       I looked at my sister and smiled, "Yeah, I think I do look at Bryan with rose-colored glasses because I asked God to help me do just that. I choose to be thankful that I am and have been well loved."

"... But if you think that leaves you on the high ground where you can point your finger at others, think again. Every time you criticize someone, you condemn yourself. It takes one to know one. Judgmental criticism of others is a well-known way of escaping detection in your own crimes and misdemeanors. But God isn't so easily diverted. He sees right through all such smoke screens and holds you to what you've done." Romans 2:1-2 The Message

Bryan....

The next couple of blogs I am going to devote to my husband. His birthday is next week and instead of buying him a whole lot of stuff, I want him to know and read how much I love him. I want to share this on my blog because, well... I share just about everything else so why not? Hopefully it will spur you on to thinking about how and why you love someone and maybe let them know... a bit more. WARNING: It could get a little mushy so if this makes your stomach turn do not continue any further :)

Some of you are saying, "Well it's Bryan. He is easy to love. He is a pastor, of course he acts this way. I want to stop that train of thought. Don't use the pastor card as a scapegoat. Don't assume that he was just born that way. Don't think 17 years ago he was the amazing man he is now. He chose to let God transform His heart. He chose to be a different person. He chose to obey and trust God. And he chose to let God help him love this broken, broken girl.

 "So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing." 1 Thessalonians 5:11

What Can We Learn from Billy Graham

10 Leadership Secrets from Billy Graham

1. Leadership is forged in the furnace.
How can we as ordinary leaders deal with the heat we feel and rise to challenges greater than our capacities? While Billy Graham's natural mindset is "What could go wrong?"—he is determined to live by his convictions and the gospel of hope, and to communicate that confidence to others. Despite the worst, a leader must personify hope for the best.

"I've read the last page of the Bible. It's going to turn out all right." — Billy Graham

2. The spirit of teambuilding empowers and energizes.
We can't always choose our leaders or teammates, but we can raise effective followership to a high level, often despite difficult circumstances. Billy Graham's extraordinary success with his core team raised the bar about what can be achieved. His decisions were based on mutual agreement rather than on a dictatorial basis.

"God has given us two hands, one to receive with and the other to give with." — Billy Graham

3. Never underestimate a "small temptation".
Greed, pride, lust, and ambition—temptation can blindside you. A small indiscretion may appear worth the risk. But only after we hook into temptation do we discover its strength. By openly declaring their ethical standards, Billy Graham and his team admitted the dangers of temptation and clarified the expectations and accountabilities. You have to be in the dark, what you are in the light.

"When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, everything is lost." — Billy Graham

4. Laser in on the mission.
It is easy to lose focus, especially with tasks that are closely related to your core mission. Without a clear purpose and well-channeled efforts, energy is diffused and power is dissipated. Billy Graham has focused on one element—connecting with broad audiences and bringing them to the point of decision. That means he primarily leaves to others the task of helping people grow in faith.

"I just want to lobby for God." — Billy Graham

5. Embrace the challenge of criticism.
How you respond to critics reveals a lot about your sense of calling and your composure. Critics can force you to evaluate what you really believe about yourself and your mission. While Billy Graham at times would be angered by his critics, he would frequently hear out a critic, then explain his calling and his determination to fulfill that mission, inviting the critic to help with what Billy was compelled to do.

"Mountaintops are for views and inspiration, but fruit is grown in the valleys." — Billy Graham

6. Recognize fear as a catalyst for courage.
One key detractor of courage is the avoidance of conflicts we dread. In the late 1970's, Communist authorities extended an invitation for Billy Graham to speak in Russian venues. U.S. leaders pressured Billy to decline the offer. After agonizing over the situation, Billy accepted the invitation. The U.S. media was sharply critical. Billy had to keep soldiering on and accept the harsh realities of the assaults. It was later acknowledged by the media that Billy alone had looked past the atheistic Soviet propaganda to see a nation eager for change.

"Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are stiffened." — Billy Graham

7. Turn unthinkable failure into gold.
No one likes to fail, and leaders' failures produce magnified consequences. However, the goal is not a fail-safe record but a pattern of increasing effectiveness. In 1950, Billy Graham was allowed to briefly visit with President Truman. Afterwards, not knowing he was violating diplomatic protocol, he told the press everything he could remember. Learning of his grievous error, Billy vowed that it would never happen again. He eventually became a confidant of popes and presidents and prime ministers because he had learned to keep conversations in confidence.

"Out of defeat can come the best in human nature." — Billy Graham

8. Emphasize the common ground
Managers work mostly within an organization while leaders also develop key relationships outside the organization. Over the years, Billy became a tremendous bridge builder, reaching across denominational, political, racial, and religious boundaries. Billy found ways to emphasis the common ground. Bridges aren't built by hiding our foundations and intentions but by admitting where we are, respecting those on the other side, and affirming the worth of the connection.

"We are not cisterns made for hoarding, we are channels made for sharing." — Billy Graham

9. Inspire other leaders.
One of the most profound effects of Billy's leadership has been his stoking the fires of other leaders beyond his own organization. Rick Warren, author of the bestselling The Purpose Driven Life said, "Billy's fingerprints of influence are all over my ministry." For many leaders today, Billy was both a voice of wisdom and a mentor. One such leader remarked, "Billy's willingness to allow others to succeed may be his greatest lasting impact."

"The test of a preacher is that his congregation goes away saying not, 'What a lovely sermon!' but, 'I will do something.'" — Billy Graham

10. Leverage Weakness.
Great strengths are usually accompanied by significant weaknesses. Effective leaders accept their weaknesses and leverage them. First they admit them, then adapt, delegate, and constantly learn. Billy Graham had a deep sense of his own limitations. Despite his preaching to millions, Billy has often professed he wasn't a great preacher. And he was right. There are others who are more eloquent. Billy consistently set himself to learn from everyone.

"God measures people by the small dimensions of humility and not by the bigness of their achievements or the size of their capabilities." — Billy Graham

Pepperoni Pizza Monkey Bread

by foodiebride on July 6, 2011

You can take the long route and make your favorite pizza dough and marinara sauce, or the short route and pick up your favorite pizza dough and red sauce from the store.

Ingredients

• 2 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
• 4 Tbsp butter
• 2 lbs pizza dough (I used this recipe because it makes enough for two pizza)
• 6 oz mozzarella cheese, cut into small cubes (you'll need ~48 pieces)
• 48 slices of Turkey pepperoni (from 1 package)
• 2-3 cups marinara sauce, warmed, for serving

Instructions

1. Heat garlic and butter over medium heat just until the garlic begins to brown. Remove from heat and let sit.
2. Lightly brush the inside of a bundt pan (or other oven-safe dish) with garlic butter.
3. Pull off large marble-sized balls of dough and flatten (~2/3 of an ounce, a kitchen scale makes this very easy). Top with a slice of pepperoni and a cube of mozzarella.

4. Wrap the dough around the pepperoni and cheese, pinching well to seal.
5. Very lightly brush the pizza ball with garlic butter and place into the bundt pan (I dabbed the pizza balls on a butter-dipped silicon brush to keep butter use low - there will be 1+ Tbsp leftover - and my hands butter free. Buttery hands make it hard to get the pizza balls to seal).
6. Repeat until all of the dough is used.
7. Cover and let sit for 30 minutes, while preheating the oven to 400.
8. Bake for ~35 minutes, until the top is very brown.
9. Remove from the oven and let sit for 10 minutes.
10. Turn out onto a platter and serve with warmed marinara sauce for dipping.

Notes

Yields: 48 pieces
Adapted from Pizza Bites via Annie's Eats

The Gift That Goes Unopened

I don't know a person alive who doesn't like to receive a gift. Gifts make us feel special. They make us feel that somebody cared enough to give us something. The mystery of what is inside is exciting. Will it be something we want? Will it be expensive? Looking at the shiny wrapping paper or colorful bag even causes excitement. At Christmas time I think my kids just like the joy of opening all the presents rather than focusing on what is inside. They go through many of them with eyes glazed over and seem to have their sights set on the next one.

I also don't know of a person who would get a big, shiny, beautifully, wrapped present made just for them and let it go unopened. Many of you have this gift, sitting on your kitchen table, where you just look at it every day. You walk around it, move it, and live life, without ever looking to see what is inside. You might know this gift was given to you free of charge, but then doubt that something so awesome would come without a cost. You somewhat remember that the person who gave it to you loved you. You often wonder just what would happen if you did tear it open. You think about how your life might be a little bit better if you didn't have to keep walking around or moving it out of the way. But the unknown, the fear of change, selfish desires, and all the other noise of the world keep getting in the way. So you hesitate, hand on the bow, shake your head and walk away. Leaving the gift unopened. 

That gift on your kitchen table? The one that was made especially for you? Given to you by the One who created you. The one who numbered the hairs on your head. That gift is God's son Jesus. The gift is eternal life. The gift is living water. The gift is..redemption, forgiveness, grace, mercy, peace, love, and hope.

"For God so loved the world he gave his only son that whomever believes in him shall have eternal life." John 3:16

Yep, that's right the gift is for everyone no matter your past, race, finances, family, sex, creed, political affiliation, tattoos, piercings, abuse, or doubts. The gift is for everybody. And it's free. What did you do to earn it? Nothing. How can you buy it? You can't. How can you get another one? It can only be opened by the one individual that it was designed for. Can you choose to ignore it and not open it? Yes. God gives you free will. You can let His perfect gift sit on your kitchen table forever. You can choose to live life without Him but it was not what you were created for. You were meant to open that gift. That gift was bought with a high price, God's son on the cross.

This Christmas, I pray you will focus on the true gifts of the season. I pray if you have Jesus in your life you share Him and reflect Him well. I pray if you have not opened the perfect gift from above, that you will keep searching for the truth and will one day accept His indescribable gift. 

"Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!" 2 Cor 9:15

Put Down the Donut!

Yesterday I walked in a 5k for my friend Lisa who has breast cancer. I am not going to lie..I woke up a little sore, a bit stiff. I had not walked around the block for 10 years much less over 3 miles. I used muscles that I had forgotten about, put to rest a while ago. My kids doubted me, Lakin was afraid I was going to have call someone to come pick me up because I wouldn't finish. My husband just shook his head and said, "It's just like you not to walk ever and then to just start off with a 5k. You could have worked your way up to this you know?"

Yeah, Yeah but I have a reason to walk. I have a reason to put one foot in front of another. I have this amazing Godly woman who is fighting for her life. Her faith in God is unshakable. Her attitude is inspiring. Her smile is infectious. She is going for a run even during chemo treatments. Have you seen a picture of her beautiful children? This is enough for me to put down that donut, get off the couch, and walk a few blocks. If I can show her I love her, support her, pray for her, and am rooting all the way for her to win by doing something uncomfortable I will. My little jaunt around the neighborhood is nothing compared to the people around Lisa who are taking her to treatments, caring for her children, cleaning her house, helping her financially with the huge bill, and in the daily grind of life with her.

But this really isn't about me or what others are doing for Lisa this about the God we love and serve. He says to bear one another's burdens, to love at all times, to be a team, the Body of Christ. When one of us gets knocked down, the rest us of should rally around and not only pick them up but carry them to the finish line. Yesterday I ran for team Lisa but every day I run for the one who created me. Today, I THANK God I am sore. It reminds me to pray for my friend.

"God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen." 

1 Peter 4:10-12

Bought For A Price

"Kimberley, why do you do all this stuff? Why do you choose to live this way? It doesn't seem easy?"

When my friend asked me this I took pause, Why? You are right easy isn't a word I would call my life. But I am not looking for easy. I choose to live my life THIS way because I was bought...with a price. My life is not my own to live.

If you went to the store and bought a gift, let's say a really expensive gift, and took it home, you would believe it was yours to keep. You would probably not expect it to do its own thing and walk out the door after you paid for it. You bought it. It's yours right?

Well, when I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, I realized my life was not my own to live because my heavenly father sacrificed His one and only son for ME. He paid the ultimate price with the blood of His son. The cost of having a relationship with God was high and even if I turn my back on Him or never choose to believe in Him, this priced was paid anyway. He gives all of us the free will to choose Him. Even though He bought us with the precious, perfect gift of Jesus, we can still walk away and say no.

When I looked up at the cross and saw Jesus there with His arms stretched wide and realized that God loves me beyond my human capacity to understand, I knew that my life would never be the same. That day I told God, I would trust and follow Him the rest of my life. I had no idea what He had in store for me. Again, it has not always been easy. I have failed often. I have stumbled. I have actually tripped and fell flat on my face a few times. But, I don't pull myself up by my bootstraps, dust off, and say well I'll try harder. Instead, I look into the face of my creator, full of mercy and grace, as He says, "Kimberley you will always be mine. I paid the price for you and nothing can shake you from my grasp. Every time you stumble or fall, I will be there to pick you up."

"God paid a high price for you, so don’t be enslaved by the world." 

1 Corinthians 7:23

Sweet Surprises!

The other day two of my friends came by my work to have lunch with me. They brought me yummy food but most importantly they came bearing donuts! They didn't stay long, since I only have 31 minutes to eat, but it was just enough to boost my spirit and put a smile on my face. Later that night a friend brought me home made chocolate chip cookies. Again, such a sweet surprise literally!

These gifts did not cost much. They were nothing extraordinary but they were..thoughtful. I felt loved, appreciated, and special because someone had taken time out of their day to do something nice for me. In return, it made me WANT to do something kind for somebody else. God started bringing people to my mind of who I needed to bless. Again, all it takes is a simple smile, a note, a coffee, a cupcake, a phone call, an encouraging text, a post-it with a verse, letting a person cut in line, giving up that great parking space, holding back your tongue, saying thank you. It can be anything done with a spirit of joy expecting nothing in return.

Can a few small acts of kindness change the world? Well it won't solve world hunger or stop all the wars or save the o-zone, but it can put a smile on a face! Taking time outside of our busy, hectic schedules to bless someone else reflects the God we love. Serving others in the small ways can be just as awesome as the big ways. Encouraging one another can give us a glimpse of heaven on Earth.

I challenge you to start looking for opportunities to encourage and serve someone around you. Not to feel good about yourself. Not to check off a box that you did your good deed for the day. But just because you serve a loving, loving God. Be intentional. Be specific. Be Joyful. Be grateful that you have the ultimate example of sacrifice hanging on the cross! 

"Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you." 2 Corinthians 13:11

I Am in Awe!

"The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders; where morning dawns, where evening fades, you call forth songs of joy. You care for the land and water it, you enrich it abundantly." Psalms 65:8-9a

My family and I are spending our fall break hanging out and relaxing on Mt. Lemon. We are blessed to have friends who generously share their gorgeous cabin with us. Right now I am sitting on the front porch listening to the wind rustle the leaves in the tree. I hear birds singing songs to each other. My kids are running around playing tag instead of plugged into electronics. I gaze out and see the mountain filled with all different colors of trees and flowers; red, green yellow, and even a splash of purple my favorite :) The sky is so blue and clear it almost seems unreal. I take a deep breath, fill my lungs with the fresh biting air only found in the mountains and I pause.....I truly am in AWE. I am awe that God had created something so beautiful for me to enjoy. I can't believe anybody can look around at nature and not acknowledge that something magnificent played a powerful hand in creating this. Not something but someone who has such pure love to paint the world with such fragile beauty. That same Person also made us in His image, another exquisite creation formed to bring Him glory.

God, what do you want me to know about you as I sit here trying to take this all in?

"Kimberley, I want you to try to grasp just a little bit how massive my love is for you and all my people. This amazing beauty surrounding you doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of how deep my love is for mankind. Those mountains are anthills compared to how high my love is for you. The vastness of the ocean cannot compare to how wide my love is for you. It is good to be in awe of the splendidness of your surroundings but more importantly look at the cross and see the ultimate sacrifice I made for all of you because of how much I love you."

Today, let's look around and search for the beauty of His love maybe in the face of a sleeping child, in the song of a bird, in the memory of an amazing picture, or in the actions of another...ask Him to reveal to you His wonderful creation, evidence of His abiding love. And if you still are blinded to these earthly miracles...just glance at the cross.

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ," Ephesians 3:17-18

Shine Your Light!

"Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven." Matthew 5:14-16 (The Message)

Lord, help me to shine today. Help me to radiate your glory, your mercy, your grace. I want my cup to be so filled of your love that it just doesn't splash out, but your love POURS out onto others I come into contact with. Let my face reflect your beauty that doesn't come from products or circumstances but comes from the joy that you have infused in my spirit. I don't want to keep you a secret. I want everyone around me to know you by the way I live my life. Put aside my earthly feelings of not being worthy or selfish wanting to do things my way. I cannot do this on my own. You are my strength, my rock. Lord, let me be a light in the darkness.

Choices...

Every day you make choices...hundreds of them. What clothes to wear, what to eat, what to do, how to spend your money, how to act, which direction to take...never ending. But I believe there really is only one essential choice you need to make first thing when you wake up. "Who will you serve today?" God or yourself? "....choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve" Joshua 24:15b. This will be a struggle. The desires of our flesh are strong. We are selfish, fighting to do what we want no matter the cost. We want things our way. We quite often throw fits when we don't get it. Ranting and raving because we don't understand why.
 

How awesome is it that we have a creator that has a plan for our life, the perfect plan. He knows our heart's desires. He hears our cries. He opens his arms and says. "My beloved child, I sent my son to die on the cross so that I can have a relationship with you. Seek after my heart. Get to know me and my will for your life. Anything asked in my spirit will be given to you. I delight in you!"

"Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace." Romans 8:5-6

To Shave or Not to Shave?

The other day I got into the shower and shaved under my arms and one full leg before I realized that I had not taken the guard off the razor. Seriously!!!! Here I thought it was dull and that's why it was not getting close enough. But noooo, it was brand new! I was so distracted and busy that I was almost done with my task before I realized that something was wrong. What a waste of time! Frustrated and feeling pretty dumb, I did the mature thing.... I threw the razor down and refused to shave at all. There that will show it who is boss. You might be saying right now, "Kimberley? Really? You are fighting with an inanimate object? Sticking it to the razor?"

I began to think what other areas in my life are a bit off or not getting done right because of my busy schedule. We often pack our lives with anything and everything. Most of it with good intentions but are we missing the mark? Are our priorities where they should be? If we say yes to something we are saying no to something else because there is no way we can fit "IT" all in. I promise that there are only 24 hours in each day, no more, no less. Let my yes be yes and my no be no but what should I be focusing on? How do I know what comes first? "God, you do realize that I work full time, I'm still in school, have three kids, a pastor for a husband, and mentor others?" I don't know what to put on the chopping block. Many times I just throw up my hands and quit because it becomes overwhelming!

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God." Colossians 3:1-3

God's answer...."Kimberley, if you really took a look at your schedule you would realize that some things are merely distractions to get you off track. One of your enemy's biggest tools is to keep you running around like a chicken with your head cut off, so busy, you are doing nothing well. Start each day with praying, "God, show me your ways. Today is the day you have made. Not only will I rejoice and be glad in it, I will obey and listen to your spirit about what you want me to accomplish. Set my heart on your will for my life not my to do list."

That night I was lying in bed with my son and he puts his feet on my legs and says, "Gross mom, your legs feel like a prickly cactus." Yeah, I really stuck it to that razor didn't I?

Rotten Meat

A couple of years ago I sent Bryan to the store with a list of groceries to get. He likes the list to be very specific so he doesn't mess up. When he came home and we started unpacking the bags, I asked him where the pot roast was. "Honey, did you get the meat?" He of course was defensive, "Of course I got it. I followed the list to a T." We went through every bag, looked in the car, and around the house. We even called the store to see if he left it at the checkout. The pot roast was nowhere to be found. Although we were perplexed about where it went, we felt we had given enough effort in trying to track down. Case closed.

A few days later we noticed a distinct foul smell in the car. It stunk. We blamed our middle son's shoes. We blamed the petrified chicken nugget lost in the seats. But by the end of the week the smell was unbearable. Maybe a small animal crawled in and died without us knowing. Bryan fed up with our car smelling like death, decided to investigate further. About a half hour into tearing apart the Excursion, he came into the house holding his nose and a plastic bag. "Kimberley, I found the pot roast!" Seven days in hundred degree weather plus baking inside our closed vehicle, equals one horrible smell!!!!


Sin is kind of like that too. The longer you ignore it the more it starts stinkin'. You might give a little effort in trying to seek out the sin that's rotting away, maybe look under a few car seats, give a halfhearted attempt in searching out the root cause. You might also try to place blame on someone else, like we did on Landen's shoes or the chicken nugget. "I wouldn't be doing these things if so and so______(fill in the blank). You may call a few people for help or justification. Trust me you can always find someone else to agree with you that your sin is not that bad. Finally, most of us just give up. Breaking the cycle of sin is hard. It becomes easier to accept the sin in our lives and pretend that it really doesn't smell. But just like the pot roast, sin left unattended starts stinking up.... our souls. "For the wages of sin is death.." Romans 6:23. 

This can't be more explicit, the intent is pretty clear. Sin equals death. There is no way around it. There is no way to stick our head in the sand and pretend it won't happen to us. There is no way to escape the consequences. Sin separates us from the one who created us.

What do we do? How can we be reunited with God? The answer? Jesus.

^"For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin—because anyone who has died has been set free from sin." Romans 6:6-7. 

He came to set us free so we are no longer slaves to our sin. But you must choose. You cannot serve two masters. Either you are living in your sin and doing nothing about it or you are living in the victory and power of Jesus. 

"Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living." Romans 6:10-11

They Will Know.....

The other day I was reading a magazine that talked about when a Marine enters the training camp as a new recruit there is a sign at the front gate for all to see, "Parris Island where the difference begins". After they graduate the difference is very noticeable. You will know a Marine by the way their hair is cut, the stiff posture when they walk, the way they talk with a 'steely sense of focus and determination and you may sense their obvious self-discipline, the toughness, and the readiness to follow orders no matter what.' Marines stand for something and they are known by those things. 

The questioned was then asked, "Well how about churches and their goal in making devoted followers of Jesus? What does the difference look like there?"

"If the church exists to see people transformed from a state of brokenness and selfishness shouldn't we be clear about what a transformed Christian looks like? If it's not hard to spot a Marine, how does one spot a spiritually mature Christian?"

This article gave me a gut check! Why is it so hard to spot a Christian? And if we are 'spotted' are we reflecting Jesus well? When I look around I am horrified by all the anger, hate, bitterness, judgment, legalism and misrepresentation of Jesus. I am pretty sure you wouldn't find Him blowing up abortion clinics, carrying ugly signs at parades spewing more hate, rolling His eyes at the homeless beggar asking for money again, putting down people from other countries because of a few very misguided terrorists, or marginalizing the ones who are already on the outside. I don't think Jesus would be posting hateful things on Facebook about others or blasting the president in public even if he strongly disagreed with how he is running the country. (Think of the crazies running things during his time).In the Bible it says Jesus hung out with tax collectors, prostituted, and adulterers. He chastised the Pharisees for thinking they were better than everyone else.

How can you "spot" a Christian? 

 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35

They will know you are His by Your LOVE! Let's think about that when we say we are Christians. The world should be able to tell you belong to HIM because of how you treat others. That is the difference...what we stand for should be LOVE because we were given the ultimate example... when he was hanging from the cross!!!

The God I Know

The other day, I came across a passage in the Bible that I have read many times before. But this time I wept. 

"Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
John 8:1-11

I wept because that is the God I know. The God who offered grace, mercy, and forgiveness to this "sinful' woman who had just had a near death experience tainted with public humiliation, a woman who was an outcast and not socially acceptable. Probably scared out of her wits and head bowed in shame at coming face to face with Jesus. Instead of punishing her or criticizing her life choices, he KNELT before her. The King of Kings, the Son of God bent down before her and said, "I am not here to condemn you. I came to give you a new life, today." He didn't point fingers. He didn't make her feel guiltier. He gave her hope and restored her with this love. 

Bill Hybels put it this way, " ..is there a better picture of God's heart than this-the heart that invites someone to freedom instead of indictment? Without excusing the woman's sinful indiscretions, Jesus said, "Everyone has taken some wrong turns. Everyone is in need of forgiveness and redemption and healing. Everyone needs to know the love that only my father can provide. That is why I have come!"

Have we forgotten this God? Do we not remember that our Messiah came for healing, redemption, and hope for all? He came for EVERYONE, even the ones that make us uncomfortable. He hung out with prostitutes and tax collectors. I wept when I read this passage because one day, not long ago, I felt like this woman. I was her. And Jesus did the same thing. He covered my shame and guilt with His blood. His offered love instead judgment. He invited me to start a new life with hope and a future. That is the God I know.

Back to School...Not Just New Clothes

      Back to school time means new clothes, school supplies, (oh how I love sharpened pencils and the smell of fresh crayons), new friends and teachers. It can be exciting....but what if we took the newness a little bit deeper? How about we start this year with a fresh perspective? How about taking a look through God's filter and not our own? How about when that kid in class who ruins it for everyone else is acting out again..maybe no one has loved him right and we might try to be his friend instead of talking about him in the lunchroom. Or that co-worker who bugs you? Maybe her marriage is on the rocks and by the time she comes to work she is a hot mess snapping at the littlest things. How about you find ways to serve her no matter the response. Or that boss who micromanages your every move or doesn't respect you? Maybe he has never heard the good news, he is lost and has no hope. How about we pray for him instead of dwell on all his negatives. Or the guy on the corner smoking? Yes, cigarettes are gross but maybe he just got over a 15 year heroin addiction and this helps the cravings. 
     The point is we don't know the whole story. We haven't walked in everyone's shoes. We don't know what they are dealing with or if they are just hanging on by a string. Let's commit to taking a "new look" at people, a fresh perspective. Maybe God's outlook. It is so easy to get angry, defensive, pass judgment, or put down. It is much harder to choose love. Love that surpasses all understanding not because that person deserves it but because the God you serve gave you the ultimate example..on the cross. 

 ^"When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice. For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Matthew 9:11-13

I Have Almost Died A Million Times!

      For those of you who really know me, I tend to be a bit of hypochondriac. In my defense, if I think I have a disease I don't actually go to the doctors so I consider myself just the hypo:) In my mind, I have fought off the West Nile disease at least three times. Mosquitoes love me! I found a spot on my leg and convinced myself it was a rare case of melanoma. When I see bruises of course it might be Leukemia. My headache could be a brain tumor along with numerous other cancer possibilities or maybe the beginnings of a blood clot. 
      I also like diagnosing others. I just know the people who come to my house who get cold easily have an iron deficiency or the guy who is tired all the time has a thyroid issue. It has gotten to the point where my husband has banned all medical books from coming into the house. When I try to sneak one in from the library he gives me 'the look" and tells me he doesn't want to hear not one thing from it no matter how "serious" I think it is. He also doesn't really want me to watch the shows like ER or the Baby Channel on TV, especially when I was pregnant. I try to avoid websites like WebMD which give me instant access to all kinds of information for me to obsess about.

      Although sometimes this can get humorous, I know this fear is not of God.

^{"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? "}  Matthew 6:25

     So if it is not of God, it might be a tool of the enemy. If I get distracted from the now and focus instead on the "what ifs" I can become paralyzed. I know my fear comes from losing my best friend at 20 and my grandmother a few months later. These times were dark and burying the two most important people in the world.... broke my spirit. I did not have God in my life then to lean on, instead the enemies lies crept in. "You weren't made to be happy..."

      The worst case scenario is death...but really if it were not for my kids and husband I am not afraid of that. I will get to dance with Jesus and sit at His feet. But I do fear leaving my beautiful family....Every day I pray against the lies and the fear that does not come from my heavenly Father. His plan for my life is perfect. I choose to trust Him and do what He has to do for His glory :)

Going into surgery ..with pretty pink toenails!!!

      In about two hours I am going into surgery to get my gallbladder out. I am totally not looking forward to the pain, the side effects, a tube stuck down my throat, or somebody cutting into my belly. I will have scars so wearing my bikini anymore is out also! (lol) I decided since they take away much of my dignity by giving me a very ugly, not stylish gown to wear, with no back, take away my underwear which is like a safety net for me, and make me put on that surgical cap that messes up my hair and does not match my ugly gown, I will at least go in with....pretty pink toenails. That's right! I got up this morning knowing I can't have any food or water...(gasp) all day, took a shower, but couldn't put on my lotion or deodorant (stinky), and rushed out to the salon. I might be a hot mess in a few hours but I will have beautiful feet. It will give me comfort knowing the rest of my body is wrapped up in horrible hospital attire that does nothing for hiding all my flaws but my toenails will be flashing  "HOT PINK" and saying this girl does have style :)

The Journey Begins or Actually Continues...

      Twelve years ago, when I was six months pregnant with our first child, Bryan came to me and said, "Kimberley, God gave me a vision. It's time to go." What? Time to go? You want to leave the church you have been going to since you were ten? The church where we met? Where I was baptized? Where we got married? Where we have been doing ministry for the last five years? The church where I wanted to raise my kids and tell them all the stories we had created within these walls? "Yes, Kimberley God gave me a vision that He wants a community center in midtown. A place where people can find refuge, peace, a purpose, real relationships, and most importantly find Jesus. I don't know exactly what it looks like or where we go from here but it's time to move! Are you in? I can't do this without you."
      Bryan, when I agreed to become your wife I said yes to follow you where ever you go. I know your heart and I trust your spirit. With everything I have I will support you. The journey began....
     We could not have scripted the last decade. So many experiences, so many people, so many paths led us to now. Bryan has been on staff at Pantano for six years but the vision was always there. Last month, the elders and leaders of the church gave Bryan permission to take Elements and become a church plant in midtown Tucson. He is going to spend the next year growing and building to get ready to launch, by 2013. HUGE!!! The journey continues.....
     What does this mean? Well, don't have a lot of the details worked out. But when God says move, we are choosing to obey. How can you help? Pray...pray...pray! Pray for wisdom and guidance. Pray against the attacks on our family. Pray for courage to keep going when the mountain seems too high to climb. Pray that God will give people a heart to come along. Pray that as we push against the darkness of Tucson, God's glory will be revealed in an amazing way. Pray for signs of wonders and miracles that show this city who reigns! 

 ^"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should." Ephesians 6:18-20

The Flag

THE FLAG

Goosebumps travel up and down my arms
tears well in the corner of my eye;
I walk a little taller, my backs a little straighter
As I look at the flag waving in the sky.

The rows of red remind me
of all the blood that was shed;
The lives that were honorably given
the thousands that are now dead.

The stripes of white symbolize
the great, the pure, the proud;
Who paid the ultimate price
I sing their praises out loud.

The patch of blue, I hold true to my heart
It's the color of uniform I wear;
As I join the ranks to defend my country
I take this oath I swear.

Together the brilliant white stars
make a united front so strong;
We fight to the death for freedom
to the mightiest country we belong.

When I see the American flag
folded on a coffin, or lowered at half-mast;
I take a moment to reflect
about its colorful past.

The flag demands the greatest respect
it symbols our right to be free;
We uphold our duty to serve it
Here in Air Force ROTC!

Cadet Kimberley Raulerson 
Northern Arizona University
Det 021
1995

I wrote this poem my senior year of college two months away from commissioning. Unfortunately I was in a car accident a few weeks later, which medically discharged me from the opportunity to serve in the United States Air Force. I will never forget the camaraderie formed with the cadets in my detachment, bound by a common goal to serve our country with determination, dedication, and discipline.

Failure Is A Pain!

      My son was pitching in his first baseball game and I was a wreck! There was so much pressure on one little boy. Everybody was watching his every move. When he threw a strike they cheered. When he didn't do as well the crowd wasn't as friendly. I grabbed my husband's arm and cried, "This is too much. What a horrible game!"  As he peeled my fingers off he said, "Kimberley, baseball is a game of failure. A perfect game for a pitcher is rare. A good batting average is less than 50%." Well, I am a teacher and 50% to me is an "F" which means failure. Failing is bad. Why play a game when you fail more than you win?
       Life is kind of like baseball, when you are winning everybody is on your side cheering you on. They applaud your success, shake your hand, and offer to be a part of the "A" team. On the other hand, when things aren't going so great the tide can turn fast. People tend not to stand behind you. The ones that were just cheering you on avert their eyes and walk the other way. Disgruntled mumblings stir up, "I knew this wouldn't work. You should have done this or you should never have even tried such a crazy thing!" The applause turns to suspicion. Many don't want to be part of a team that is stumbling even if it once was the "A" one.
      Bryan and I have failed MANY times at many different things. A lot of people who said they would always be there for us..jumped ship at the first sign of trouble. But God has used each one of these failures to make OUR FAITH STRONGER, DEFINED OUR CHARACTER, AND TESTED OUR PERSEVERANCE. Are we going to listen to the doubters or are we going to listen to our creator?
      Failure is part of the process. It's painful but where are you going to learn how to handle mistakes? Failure keeps things into perspective. You make adjustments and try again. Look at Bill Gates, Kurt Warner, Albert Einstein, or Abe Lincoln. Between these four they had a lot of failures. Two were thought to be mentally challenged before they came up with the Law of Relativity and created Microsoft. One lost quite a few elections before he became president of the United States. And the other worked in a grocery store before he won the Superbowl. Victory is that much sweeter when you have tasted defeat. Don't run from failure learn from it. Failure keeps you humble. If you succeed at everything you might begin to rely on yourself more than the provision of God. Everything is for His Glory.

 ^"I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me —the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace." Acts 20: 23-25

Life At 40!

Today as I turned 40 I wanted to look back over my life and try to figure out what I learned if anything.....

High school seemed so epic but really nothing that was important there is important in the real world. The most popular people didn't end up better off and their opinion doesn't matter.

Whoever said "sticks and stone may break my bones but words will never hurt me"-LIED. Words are powerful and can be very painful. I have seen them destroy others.

Life is not fair. A guy who shoots a ball in a net gets paid millions while a teacher who shapes the minds of the future makes just above poverty level. Husbands leave, children get sick, loved ones die, but we must go on, picking up the pieces after we have been torn apart.

Most people don't want to be held accountable for their words or actions. The person in the mirror can be painful to deal with.

Character Counts. Really. Doing what is right is still right even if no one else is doing it.

Choices matter. Doing what is wrong it still wrong even if everybody else is doing it.

Most people have superficial relationships because it is easier. To go deeper requires a lot of hard work and investment.

Money doesn't make you happy but it sure can be a lot of fun to have and it does hide the pain for a while.

We are so bored with our own lives we sit in front of the TV and watch reality shows about crazy people.

Real friends are hard to find. The ones who not only hold your hand but hold you up when the storms of life try to take you down.

The potential of evil resides in all of us. So much depends on whom we let form our character.

People are constantly trying to fill the emptiness inside, the void, with anything and everything.

The world is full of suffering and we Americans often turn a blind eye and just change the channel.

I have learned that FAITH can move mountains, LOVE can heal deep wounds, KINDNESS goes a long way, LAUGHTER warms the heart, one person can make a difference, and true FRIENDSHIP is a treasure to hold on to. I have learned to count my BLESSINGS every day and be THANKFUL for all the good in my life. 

But most importantly I have learned that no matter what GOD created me to be one of His masterpieces and His love will never fail. He keeps His promises and surrounds me with His mercy and grace. He numbered the hairs on my head and no tear that I have shed has gone unnoticed.

"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." 

1 John 4:4

Finding Your Purpose

Finding Your Purpose

"Meaningless is like a black hole at the center of human existence that sucks up whatever we throw at it, empty as it was before.” John Fischer

It makes a big difference where you go for the answers to the meaning of the purpose of life. Our culture will assault you with the world’s point of view of purpose: to be pretty, wealthy, happy, to have the best job, house, car, family, vacations…it is all about you!

Finding your purpose in God, his call on your life, is a different journey, one that won’t leave you feeling empty, unfulfilled, lost.

1)    Ask yourself what am I passionate about? God delights in giving us the desires of heart.

2)    Pursue your passions with all your heart. Don’t accept mediocrity.

3)    Keep your perspective that God has a plan for your life. (Jeremiah 29:11)

4)    Do not be afraid to fail. Failure is not a bad thing- not even trying kills the soul.

5)    Always remember and truly believe that you are a masterpiece, created in God’s image, to fulfill a unique purpose, which nobody else can accomplish but YOU! (Ephesians 2:10)

 “I am not sure exactly what heaven will be like, but I don’t know that when we die and it comes time for God to judge us, he will not ask, “How many good 

things have you done in your life? Rather he will ask, How much love did you  put into what you did?” Mother Theresa

I pray that you search after God and his call on your life with all your heart, that you not be discouraged but be filled with joyful anticipation of the destiny God has planned for you.

What Have We Done?

The last time we bought a TV was in 1998. Bryan dropped that one a few years ago and my sister gave us one of her extras. That one just broke so it was time to get a new one. I dislike dishing out hundreds of dollars for something I have a love/hate relationship with. We don't watch much, we don't have cable but I do love Netflix and playing the Wii together. Our journey through TV land ended at Best Buy. We came out with a new flat screen and CABLE! Cable? Yep, that's right. There was this big guy that looked like The Rock (Duane Johnson) who started talking to Bryan and all of a sudden we have cable. It was fast and almost painless. What a great deal we got, no contract, cancel at any time, we are just going to have it for the summer to watch the Olympics. The reasons for not having cable for the past 13 years went right out the door. 

Of course the kids are ecstatic as Bryan hooks up all the wires. But all I could feel was anxiety. I love me some HGTV and the TLC channel but what if this consumes us? I know some of you are thinking, "Kimberley, get a grip its cable not surgery." I have an uneasy feeling that now this box will become more of a focal point in our home. As we were scrolling through all the channels I was horrified at the garbage that was offered. Even the commercials are more intense. Am I going to have to become the TV police? Basically cable is set up for us to never leave our home or stick us to the couch eyes glued forward. AAAHHHH what have we done????? Bryan said let's try it for a few months but what if we don't have the will power to actually shut it off?

This might not seem like a huge deal to many of you but to me this decision has enormous consequences! I don't want to lose some of the principals we have instilled in our kids just because it's convenient or everybody else is doing it. I don't want TV to rule our life because of the show schedule. And I don't want my children to become zombies!

Same Dumb Stuff

When I leave a load of laundry in the machine and forget about it so now they smell sour, I get so frustrated! I don't really like doing laundry to begin with much less doing the same load twice because of a dumb mistake. I mean how many times have I washed clothes? Thousands right? Its basic.. put clothes in, take clothes out before they smell worse than when they went in. You would think that I would have this down by now.

Then I started thinking about what other things in my life I keep messing up on that I should have down by now? There seem to be themes in my life that I keep repeating the same "dumb" mistakes over and over. Things that should be easy since I have been a Christian for 16 years now. For instance, how to act at my son's baseball game. I do not like the parents who are loud and obnoxious yelling at everybody on the field. I don't like people who yell at the umpires thinking they are going to get them to change their mind. But what did I do a few weeks ago? Ran my mouth. Was so irritated and the whole game I took Lakin early to hers. Same "dumb" mistake. Or how about when I start in on my husband the first thing he walks through the door. I know that this is not a good time to approach him with all my issues. He needs a little time to decompress from work otherwise he usually is defensive and our conversations don't go well. But, again what do I do?

I sometimes wonder if God looks at me and says, "Kimberley, come on. This is 101 stuff. You should have this down by now. Get yourself together." But then I pause and I know He says something more like this, "Kimberley, I don't expect you to be perfect. I don't expect you to have it all figured it out. I know you are going to stumble and mess up. I love you anyway. Don't tear yourself down just keep searching after my son."

"I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord." 

Romans 7: 21-25 NLT

Can't Please Them All

"Never try to be someone else in order to please.  Just be yourself and apologize as necessary." R. Brault

It is so easy to fall in to the trap of pleasing others. We want them to like us. We desire to feel accepted. We want to belong, be a part of something. But sometimes we lose sight of what is important. We lose focus on what we were created for which was definitely not to make sure everyone is happy. If we are so busy pleasing others we often have trouble standing up for what we believe, for who we are. I know I am supposed to love others but this does not mean I accept everything. I will not accept meanness, backstabbing, and gossip as okay behavior from grown adults. I do not think it is right to tear down another person so you can feel better about yourself. I do not think integrity is something you take lightly and your principals should not change with the most popular opinion. I will never accept hurting those we should be protecting, our children and the elderly. If to please others I have to accept these things without speaking up for what is right I guess I will not be liked by all or maybe not liked by most. I will not be silent just to fit on. But at the end of the day I want people to know that I stood for something rather than bowed down to everything.

"You do not wake up one morning a bad person.  It happens by a thousand tiny surrenders of self-respect to self-interest.  ~R. Brault

Plan B

Life Is All About How You Handle Plan B


Plan A is always my first choice...
the one where everything works out.
But more often than not,
I find myself dealing
with the upside down,
inside-out version
where nothing goes as it should.
This is where the real test
of my character comes in.
Do I sink or do I swim?
Do I wallow in self-pity
or simply shift gears
and make the best of the situation?
The choice is mine.
After all...life is all about how you handle Plan B.
           -Suzy Toronto


I saw this poem on a card and just had to write it down. Often our best made plans get messed up. Life rarely turns out the way we picture it in our heads. Sometimes we throw a royal fit when things don't go our way or meet our expectations. Our character is forged in the "fires of life". How we respond to our circumstances shows who we follow. I have learned that God has a much better plan for my life than I could have ever imagined. So even when I don't agree with His timing, His ideas, or His ways I press on. He promises to remain faithful and I choose to believe Him. 

 ^"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13