What lies do I attach to that statement? Am I too much? Not enough? Too this or too that? Do I need to act differently around others, according to their personal tastes? Do I minimize myself so I can make my personality more digestible for them? Is that what I would tell my daughter to do?
"Hey, Lakin, I don't want you to seem too confident, too sure of yourself, or be a strong leader because it might be hard for some people to "handle". So make it a point to know what everyone in the room likes and adjust yourself around that so you will be more liked."
Just thinking about saying those words to her gives me a stomach ache! I can't imagine anyone telling their son, "try not to be too strong today honey or in charge. It might be hard for others to be around you." Blah!!!
Don't get me wrong, I am not blind to my fussy habits or high maintenance traits. But at this point in my life, I am coming to believe THIS IS ME and I am kinda okay with it! Sure there are things I would like to get better at (I tried to lower my voice and sounded like Barry White with a cold) and of course God is constantly working on my heart. But let's be honest, if I am not your cup of tea, rather than try to change or poke at me, you can always make the choice to smile and walk away. No harm, no foul.
More and more, I want to spend time with people who are FOR ME! Who want me to be the best Kimberley I can be! They see my faults, look past my mess, over my need for control on certain things, embrace my lack of cooking and technology skills, my fast talking, not completing sentences, and love me anyway! I want to hang out with people who won't find little ways to chip away at my self-worth and make me feel less than. They see my heart and know that there is more to me than my "strong" personality and mixed up sayings. (Fold like a piano or slick as a board could be real right?)
Sometimes these friends will have to pull me aside and let me know, "Hey Kimberley, you missed the mark on that one or 'That did not come off like you wanted it to'. Feedback with intentional love and grace is invaluable!!
Sticks and stone will break my bones and WORDS can be just as devastating. My prayer is to try to look at people, as their own unique masterpieces, created by a loving Heavenly Father, who doesn't make mistakes. And if for some reason I can't, I can choose to just smile and walk away, not tear down.
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14.
