Proverbs 31..NOT

After you have been a Christian woman for a while you will inevitably hear about or come across Proverbs 31, the perfect woman. There are studies on it, blogs about it, devotionals to help you reach these ideals, and even sermons to remind you what you should become. I have read this passage numerous times and after I get done I feel....less than or actually not even close by a long shot. Without trying to sound blasphemous or irreverent, I do not really like this chapter. I know the Bible was not created to make me feel “good”. I know it wasn't written to heap tons of guilt on me, but these verses slam home how far off I really am. I am willing to be vulnerable for a minute and share how much I do not measure up!!

“She is worth far more than rubies... (maybe turquoise or a nice opal)
She works with eager hands.... (how about a little reluctant and not if I just had a manicure)
She gets up before dark …(not before 6:30 AM, I am not a morning person)
She provides food for her family...(I do go to the grocery store but really not a good cook)
She plants a vineyard....(I can't even keep a cactus alive in my house)
She sets about her work vigorously....(I do work but usually can't get started until after a cup of coffee or four)
Her arms are strong for her tasks....(Before 30 they were pretty strong but now they lean towards the flabby side)
Her lamp does not go out at night....(lights out at 11:00 for this girl)
In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.... (I do not know what a distaff is but in my hands you will find a cookie and my iPhone)
She opens her arms to the poor....( I have given change to the people at the intersection)
When it snows she has no fear for her household.....(I am terrified all the time..especially during the monsoons)
She makes covering for her bed and linen garments.......(I can’t sew but I did make a pizza pillow in home ec. in middle school)
She is clothed with strength and dignity......(Can you buy these at Target?)
She can laugh at the days to come....(I CAN do this one....I laugh all the time)
She speaks wisdom....(sometimes...but I do talk a lot)
Faithful instruction is on her tongue....(no my foot is often on my tongue because I put it in my mouth all the time)
She watches over the affairs of her household....(oh yes I do know everything that is going on, they call me Miss Busybody)
Does not eat the bread of idleness.....(I am addicted to carbs and love bread especially if I can eat it while doing nothing)
Her children arise and call her blessed....(umm maybe fall out of bed after being threatened and act like I am their servant)
Her husband praises her.... (every other day if I am good :)
Many women do noble things you surpass them all....(After reading this I am not even close)
Beauty is fleeting....(Yep ...feeling this as I reach 40)

So what does this imply if I fail at being a Proverbs 31 woman? Should I take a class? Try harder? Get a tattoo on my wrist highlighting the top 10 things I really need to work on? Know I won't ever cut the mustard so quit now? What does it truly mean if I fail at being a Proverbs 31 woman? It means I am human. Nothing more, nothing less. Just human.

“My grace is sufficient for you, my power made perfect in your weakness.”

2 Cor 12:9

Remind Me

My husband does not always take out the garbage, he doesn't always remember to do the things I have asked him to do, he easily gets distracted and loses track of time...the list could go on. Often it is easy in marriage to focus on all the stuff our spouses do that aggravate or annoy us. We get critical and start picking them a part. We get together with our girlfriends and have a husband bashing session. We forget all the stuff they have done for us and started questioning why we are with them in the first place.

I just finished listening to this country song by Carrie Underwood that was titled, "Remind Me". (I am not usually a country fan it just happen to be on) The song talks about how love starts and how we need to be reminded why we fell in love in the first place. We need to be reminded of all the fun, crazy, sexy, cute things we did as a new couple. How we could kiss for hours until my face was raw from his beard or talk on the phone until midnight not caring that I had to get up early. We lose ourselves in the now, the immediate and the things we loved about him in the beginning, currently drive us up a wall. We need to be reminded that all those "off" or "broken" parts of him caused him to pick us in the first place. We need to be reminded that he is not perfect and news alert...we are definitely not perfect either. Nor....painful gasp...are we always right.

Marriage is hard but I am not willing to settle for good or okay. Girls we can do powerful things when we throw our pride to the side and put all our heart, mind, and soul into loving someone... remembering we do not control the other person we can only control our thoughts and our mouths! I challenge you to start capturing your thoughts and remind yourself of all the good things about your husband (even if you have to dig deep) that you once liked. Try to remember why you fell in love with him or the fun times you had. Every bad thought that comes up.... quickly replace it with a good one. This might be hard...very hard, maybe even painful for some. But just give it a try..what do you have to lose?

I found our wedding album where I had written down some of the reason I love Bryan:
His beautiful smile, freckles, and long eyelashes
His ability to fix things.
His passion for life.
His sense of humor and having fun with him
His patience with me and others
The way he looks at me when I walk into the room
His love for Jesus.

I then made a list of why I love him now:
His hands make me feel more beautiful than I am.
His love gives me courage to face the pain.
His consistency keeps me secure.
His patience helps me erase the past.
He changed a lot of diapers.
He cooks a mean steak.
He still makes me laugh.
When he comes into a room unexpectedly I still get butterflies in my stomach.
He brings me ice tea at work.
He doesn't get too mad when I go shopping at Kohls.
He cleans the toilets.
He loves our kids.
He got up almost every time with me at night when they were babies.
He still fixes things and has saved us hundreds of dollars.
His love for Jesus humbles me.
He  is usually still patient with me :)
He forgives me easily when I act like a nutcase.
He is more beautiful now than when I first met him.

I pray for the courage to face the truths about ourselves, the wisdom to try to not be critical, and the love to overflow our hearts again.