I Have Almost Died A Million Times!

      For those of you who really know me, I tend to be a bit of hypochondriac. In my defense, if I think I have a disease I don't actually go to the doctors so I consider myself just the hypo:) In my mind, I have fought off the West Nile disease at least three times. Mosquitoes love me! I found a spot on my leg and convinced myself it was a rare case of melanoma. When I see bruises of course it might be Leukemia. My headache could be a brain tumor along with numerous other cancer possibilities or maybe the beginnings of a blood clot. 
      I also like diagnosing others. I just know the people who come to my house who get cold easily have an iron deficiency or the guy who is tired all the time has a thyroid issue. It has gotten to the point where my husband has banned all medical books from coming into the house. When I try to sneak one in from the library he gives me 'the look" and tells me he doesn't want to hear not one thing from it no matter how "serious" I think it is. He also doesn't really want me to watch the shows like ER or the Baby Channel on TV, especially when I was pregnant. I try to avoid websites like WebMD which give me instant access to all kinds of information for me to obsess about.

      Although sometimes this can get humorous, I know this fear is not of God.

^{"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? "}  Matthew 6:25

     So if it is not of God, it might be a tool of the enemy. If I get distracted from the now and focus instead on the "what ifs" I can become paralyzed. I know my fear comes from losing my best friend at 20 and my grandmother a few months later. These times were dark and burying the two most important people in the world.... broke my spirit. I did not have God in my life then to lean on, instead the enemies lies crept in. "You weren't made to be happy..."

      The worst case scenario is death...but really if it were not for my kids and husband I am not afraid of that. I will get to dance with Jesus and sit at His feet. But I do fear leaving my beautiful family....Every day I pray against the lies and the fear that does not come from my heavenly Father. His plan for my life is perfect. I choose to trust Him and do what He has to do for His glory :)