All The Single Ladies

Over the last 38 years of being a girl I have learned a few things....these "insights" if you will are not brilliant or original. They have come from all the mistakes I have made and lessons I painfully learned. They come from mentoring teenagers, college students, young adults in the throes of relationship angst. They have come from watching on the sidelines, how females and males interact and being slightly horrified at the chaos and confusion dating seems to invoke now days.

I decided to make a list of "insights" not to make anyone feel bad but to be a voice of truth to single ladies when all they usually hear are lies or half-truths by guys and friends who justify everything to make them feel better.

I believe the number one "insight" on my list is.... Desperate is NOT attractive!! Some of you scratch your head and think, 'What does she mean by desperate?" others are saying, "Oh thank goodness that's not me. She is talking about so and so....(insert name of girl you don't like)" But to be honest I probably am talking to you.....that's right most single girls from the ages of 10-35ish really do act somewhat desperate if not down right Fatal Attraction (1990's movie involving the killing of rabbits) crazy!!!

Let me try to define desperate.

des·per·ate adj.

1. Having lost all hope; despairing. 2. Marked by, arising from, or showing despair 3. Reckless or violent because of despair 4. Undertaken out of extreme urgency or as a last resort 5. Nearly hopeless 6. Suffering or driven by great need or distress 7. Extremely intense

How does this apply to relationships? 

1. Not picking up on overt signals that he not interested in you but still chasing him like a dog running after the taillights of a car.

2. Constantly calling him with really nothing to say. If he wants to talk he will call you.

3. Being loud, silly, and obnoxious is a vain attempt to get his attention. Do this in a group of your girlfriends to add extra insult. 

4. Manipulating every situation to either sit by him, be in his face, or go wherever he goes. Have you ever heard of "absence makes the heart grow fonder" or "you take for granted something that always is around"?

5. Over dressing in situations where it becomes awkward.. a skimpy prom dress to the baseball game is a bit much.

6. Laughing hysterically at everything he says like he is the world's best comedian even when he is not funny. 

7. Texting him over 10x a day, even if he replies back. A one sentence reply back does not mean he is interested he might just be trying to have good manners. Again if he really wants to talk to you he will call you.

8. Drastically changing your personality to become more like him or what you think he wants. If he likes rock climbing you don't have to go out spend hundreds of dollars on equipment, subscribe to climbing magazines, and kill yourself falling off the side of a mountain trying to pretend your good at something you are really not good at.

9. Facebook stalking him to find out everything you can and using that info for most of your conversation with him. This can become creepy very fast.

10. Constantly creating drama or intense situations to get him to come to your rescue. This might work for a small amount of time, especially for guys who like to be helpful, but then it just becomes.....desperate DRAMA!

11. CRAZY ALERT: Anytime you find yourself driving by his house, having blocked numbers crank calling him, or becoming friends with his mom to get an in with him you have officially entered into the the Fatal Attraction Zone and you need intervention!!!!

STAY TUNED>>>>>>>Next post will be the remaining "insights" on my list. This post has a lot to digest for some of you. Don't lose hope we can all move from crazy desperate girl to cool girlfriend if we just truly recognized our outlandish and often sad behavior.