Ladies I have already told you Desperate is NOT Attractive but I would be remiss if I did not continue with your education in trying not to be one of "those" girls. My first post gave the top 11 ways to decide if you were already in need of some fast intervention. Please go back and read it if you have not because they are the crucial first signs in acknowledging that you might be a little on the nutty side or at least delusional when it comes to guys. Again, please do not lose hope. Every one of us has at one time or another or in my case, many times over, acted a bit crazy when it has come to the male gender. We women are emotionally charged human beings and it is hard not to teeter too much on the insane side.
After you have decided to at least not be desperate what other things you should try to avoid? Well let's start with what I believe is an obvious one.
1. You are not their buddy! Yes that is right don't try to be their guy pal. If at any time you are in the situation where you think it is funny to be farted on or engage in a wrestling match with the guy you like you have escaped into the friend zone. There should never be a reason for either one of these things to occur, NEVER. That is what guys do to their sisters or friends not girls they would like to get to know better or maybe date. Even the wrestling? Yes, if they are so immature they have to psychically wrestle you to get your attention they are not ready to have a girlfriend.
2. Dumb is not attractive...only to losers! Somehow Hollywood has gotten the world to believe that guys prefer dumb girls because it is good for their ego. If you have a guy that you feel you need to dumb down your intelligence for..run! Their ego is so big it will eventually crush out any love you might be feeling. Smart guys marry up or at least prefer to have a life companion that can carry on an halfway intelligent conversation.
3. Be more fun than feisty. It is okay to have a little spice and not just be a "yes" girl. It's okay to have an opinion and challenge him every once in a while. The problem occurs when you are more feisty than fun. If he goes home after every date and feels like he has been beaten up chances are he will be done real soon. You want him to go away from the date thinking, "Hey she is fun to hang out with" not "Next time I need to bring my armor." If he actually likes being your verbal punching bag that is a whole other blog.
4. Don't make a mountain out of a mole hill. If he takes you out for dinner it doesn't mean he is ready to jump into a serious relationship. If he gets you flowers that's nice but don't start picking out matching rings. If he takes you to meet his family don't start writing his last name behind yours with little hearts next to it. Keep things in a healthy perspective. Even if he tells you he loves you don't go into crazy wedding mode just yet. It is scary and unrealistic! Patience grasshopper!
5. Don't make a mole hill out of a mountain. Many times we girls have the ability to look at huge red flag mountain problems and minimize them into mole hills. Oh him calling his ex-girlfriend weekly is not a issue. Yes it is. Oh, him not telling the truth about where he is been isn't that big of a deal. Again yes it is. Him being a control freak just means he loves me and wants to take care of me. No it means he is a control freak. If he seems shady...he probably is..don't make excuses for him.
6. Get a life! Yep, don't live, eat, and breath him. It is not healthy and becomes weird and overbearing real fast. Hang out with your girlfriends, have hobbies that are separate, play a sport, read a book, do community service, do other things that don't revolve around him. Making him the center of your world sets you up for being a doormat that is taken for granted or unrealistic expectations in marriage. Think: BECOMING HIS SERVANT
7. Put your goods away. I know we are bombarded with naked ladies in all the magazines, TV shows, music videos, etc. but don't show your goods off. Seriously! Guys are one tracked minded. Having everything out on display just gets him to focus on the physical. They will not be able to see past what you are showing them therefore anything else you want them to know about you will only be listened to less than halfway. If he is only attracted to your body and nothing else this is not a good way to start a long term relationship. Wrap it up ladies!
8. Put down the phone! Step away from the phone even if you have to hide it in the freezer next to the cookie dough ice cream or hide it in your granny's purse as she goes grocery shopping. You must fight the urge to call and text him. If you are lighting up his phone every half hour or as some you, every five minutes, it leans toward desperate. Guys don't think like us, duh, therefore they don't have to make small talk. They really don't need to know every little detail about our days. Let him pursue you. Let him make the effort to pick up the phone.
9. Guys usually act their age or much younger. Rarely is it okay to date a guy much younger than you. Unless you want to be their mother. I know "cougars" seem to be the in thing right now but really? I often hear how "mature" this guy is or how "he acts older' than he age. UmmHmm. 10 years difference is a decade. A decade of not watching the same cartoons, not listening to the same music, not being anywhere near the same grade in school. A senior is 17....ten years younger is a 7 year-old in second grade! Just saying :)
Next edition is The Breakup: How to know if he really is done.
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