Proverbs 31..NOT

After you have been a Christian woman for a while you will inevitably hear about or come across Proverbs 31, the perfect woman. There are studies on it, blogs about it, devotionals to help you reach these ideals, and even sermons to remind you what you should become. I have read this passage numerous times and after I get done I feel....less than or actually not even close by a long shot. Without trying to sound blasphemous or irreverent, I do not really like this chapter. I know the Bible was not created to make me feel “good”. I know it wasn't written to heap tons of guilt on me, but these verses slam home how far off I really am. I am willing to be vulnerable for a minute and share how much I do not measure up!!

“She is worth far more than rubies... (maybe turquoise or a nice opal)
She works with eager hands.... (how about a little reluctant and not if I just had a manicure)
She gets up before dark …(not before 6:30 AM, I am not a morning person)
She provides food for her family...(I do go to the grocery store but really not a good cook)
She plants a vineyard....(I can't even keep a cactus alive in my house)
She sets about her work vigorously....(I do work but usually can't get started until after a cup of coffee or four)
Her arms are strong for her tasks....(Before 30 they were pretty strong but now they lean towards the flabby side)
Her lamp does not go out at night....(lights out at 11:00 for this girl)
In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.... (I do not know what a distaff is but in my hands you will find a cookie and my iPhone)
She opens her arms to the poor....( I have given change to the people at the intersection)
When it snows she has no fear for her household.....(I am terrified all the time..especially during the monsoons)
She makes covering for her bed and linen garments.......(I can’t sew but I did make a pizza pillow in home ec. in middle school)
She is clothed with strength and dignity......(Can you buy these at Target?)
She can laugh at the days to come....(I CAN do this one....I laugh all the time)
She speaks wisdom....(sometimes...but I do talk a lot)
Faithful instruction is on her tongue....(no my foot is often on my tongue because I put it in my mouth all the time)
She watches over the affairs of her household....(oh yes I do know everything that is going on, they call me Miss Busybody)
Does not eat the bread of idleness.....(I am addicted to carbs and love bread especially if I can eat it while doing nothing)
Her children arise and call her blessed....(umm maybe fall out of bed after being threatened and act like I am their servant)
Her husband praises her.... (every other day if I am good :)
Many women do noble things you surpass them all....(After reading this I am not even close)
Beauty is fleeting....(Yep ...feeling this as I reach 40)

So what does this imply if I fail at being a Proverbs 31 woman? Should I take a class? Try harder? Get a tattoo on my wrist highlighting the top 10 things I really need to work on? Know I won't ever cut the mustard so quit now? What does it truly mean if I fail at being a Proverbs 31 woman? It means I am human. Nothing more, nothing less. Just human.

“My grace is sufficient for you, my power made perfect in your weakness.”

2 Cor 12:9