Conversation with 13 year old daughter about dating:
"Mom, I am the only one at my lunch table without a boyfriend!"
Breathe...Breathe..don't blow this conversation off or be flippant , Kimberley. These are the teachable moments with your daughter. "Lord, help me be wise. Give me the words to say to her."
"I can see how frustrating that can be. Do you want to know why dad and I have made this decision?"
"Because you think it’s dumb? Because you see no point. And you are just stricter?"
Lakin, we don't want you to date at 13 not because you are the daughter of a pastor. Not because we want you to feel left out and not because we think its "dumb". This decision was not made just to have a rule for you to follow or to stick it to you. We do not think it is wise for you to focus on boys in that context right now. We know you are going to have crushes and talk about boys a lot with your friends for the next few years. And that's okay. But we want your self-worth to come from the ONE who created you not from an immature teenage boy. We want you to have time to figure out what being a teenager looks like without worry about kissing and holding hands added to the mix. Those things will come and they are fun, but we want you to have a little more foundation of who you are before you have a boyfriend speak into your life."
When your heart gets broken, and it will, we want you to know without a shadow of a doubt that YOU are the daughter of a mighty, mighty King. Your self-worth is not found in a guy, it is not found in a relationship, it is not found among your friends at the lunch table. You are worthy because of the cross!
I ask that you trust me and give it a little more time. Take this season to guard your heart and figure out how you want to be treated. It's not about a perfect age for dating it’s about not rushing through life ahead of what you can handle. You are amazing and I love you!
"Mom, I am the only one at my lunch table without a boyfriend!"
Breathe...Breathe..don't blow this conversation off or be flippant , Kimberley. These are the teachable moments with your daughter. "Lord, help me be wise. Give me the words to say to her."
"I can see how frustrating that can be. Do you want to know why dad and I have made this decision?"
"Because you think it’s dumb? Because you see no point. And you are just stricter?"
Lakin, we don't want you to date at 13 not because you are the daughter of a pastor. Not because we want you to feel left out and not because we think its "dumb". This decision was not made just to have a rule for you to follow or to stick it to you. We do not think it is wise for you to focus on boys in that context right now. We know you are going to have crushes and talk about boys a lot with your friends for the next few years. And that's okay. But we want your self-worth to come from the ONE who created you not from an immature teenage boy. We want you to have time to figure out what being a teenager looks like without worry about kissing and holding hands added to the mix. Those things will come and they are fun, but we want you to have a little more foundation of who you are before you have a boyfriend speak into your life."
When your heart gets broken, and it will, we want you to know without a shadow of a doubt that YOU are the daughter of a mighty, mighty King. Your self-worth is not found in a guy, it is not found in a relationship, it is not found among your friends at the lunch table. You are worthy because of the cross!
I ask that you trust me and give it a little more time. Take this season to guard your heart and figure out how you want to be treated. It's not about a perfect age for dating it’s about not rushing through life ahead of what you can handle. You are amazing and I love you!
"Fix your thoughts on
what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.
Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into
practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and
saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:8-9
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