The Cost

    Over the past sixteen years as we have mentored high school and college students, inevitably the subject of drinking comes up. With high school students it is a little easier to say, "You are under age it's illegal..you can be arrested. The cost is too high", but obviously with students over 21 it becomes a bit messier. They always want to whip out the verse where it says it isn't bad to drink just not to get drunk. So as long as we drink responsibly everything is okay. Right? Well yes and ...no.
     A few caveats: This is not a theological debate over alcohol. This comes from my past, my experiences, and my opinions. I do not think all drinking is bad nor will I judge an adult who is having a drink. With that said, I have RARELY seen anybody handle alcohol with the care and diligence it requires. Unfortunately, too many times alcohol has claimed many lives, many families, many careers, and many relationships. 
   What has alcohol cost me? It has cost me my family. My dad has been an alcoholic all my life. It cost my parents their marriage, their happiness, their past, their present, and their future. It cost me having a father I could look up to, trust in, count on, or respect. It cost me the security of knowing if my dad was coming home that day, if he was even alive, or if he spent all the paycheck so we couldn't pay the bills. It cost me my pride when my friends found him passed out on the beach with a bottle of Wild Turkey in his hands. Or when he came home drunk on my 8th birthday while I was having a sleepover and didn't even remember the day I was born. He wasn't there when I was hospitalized for spinal meningitis, graduated from officer training school or the day I found out my best friend had died. He didn't stand up for me when my boyfriend hit me or my mother verbally abused me. He did not protect me. His drinking was more important than his children.
   Alcohol cost me my best friend. She was in a fatal car accident when she was 20. The person driving was under the influence.  Was this enough to stop the cycle of drinking? The loss of Carri at such a young age? No, I made plenty of my own mistakes.
     Alcohol cost me my self-respect. There were so many things I did when I was drinking that I would never have done sober. Yes drinking can give you a false sense of courage to try new things. It gave me the courage to talk to that gorgeous guy but it didn't give me the discernment that he was a jerk and would hurt me. It gave me the courage to have fun on the dance floor but not the wisdom to figure out a safe way to get home. 
     I have many funny stories based around my drinking days but if I dig a little deeper, peel back the experiences, the truths become a little clearer. I see a girl hiding behind the fun alcohol gives to bury the hurt, the pain, the bad circumstances, and put herself into horrible unsafe situations where she missed by a hair, consequences that could have been devastating or life changing. 
    I quit drinking when I became a Christian not because I wanted to be good, not because I married a pastor, not because of legalism, or a set of moral rules. I quit drinking because the cost was too high. My love for God is deeper than my desire for an ice cold beer. My commitment to a healthy marriage is stronger than having a margarita with my girlfriend. My consistency in role modeling for my children and college students is more important than a glass of wine.
    Yes, I know in the Bible, it says you can drink just don't get drunk. I am not saying people who drink are wrong. I have heard many people say I can handle it. I ask the question, "You might now but what if the circumstances change? Are you a 100% sure you can handle it then? What happens if the next time you are out with your girlfriends having a few drinks a gorgeous guy approaches? This time you don't look away, this time you don't say no because for the past few months your marriage has been rocky. What happens when life becomes so stressful that you rely on a drink every night to relax until you can't go to sleep without one? What happens when we can "handle" alcohol but our children grow up seeing us drink and they are the ones who can't help but abuse it?
    I am just asking is it worth it? Or will the cost be too high?