Guilt Is Not your Friend!

      Aren't you tired of feeling guilty? Guilty that you didn't stay at home with your kids. Guilty that you didn't go back to work and help with the finances. Guilty that you don't cook enough. Guilty that you don't read your Bible more often. Guilty that your house isn't very clean, your laundry is piled as high as Mt Everest. The dishes are stinking in the sink. Guilty because you are not as thin as you were in high school and you should probably exercise more. Guilty, Guilty, Guilty! Doesn't the burden of not adding up or being enough weigh heavy on your shoulders? Well..guilt is not your friend. I don't think guilt comes from God. It makes a feel bad about ourselves, discouraged that we don't measure up. God doesn't talk like that. He will discipline and correct us but not with guilt. Guilt doesn't produce peace or righteousness it often produces shame and unworthiness.

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. " Hebrews 12:11. 

       Think of a car wash. Sometimes your car is dirty, there is the grease, the grime, the garbage of the world stuck on it. It happens before you know it, while you are going about your everyday business. You look at your car and think, "How on earth did this get so dirty?" So you take it to get cleaned. But what if your car stopped mid-cycle? What if the dirt of the world was so heavy your car stayed in the wash? Would it be good for the car? Wouldn't it get rusty? Maybe start falling apart? How useful is a car that is stuck, not moving, slowly deteriorating?

     How useful are you if you are stuck in guilt? Weighed down by the junk of this world? This is right were Satan wants you, bound up so you are not even in the game. Jesus came to set us free. He came so that we might live life not just going through the motions, not stuck. He came so we can live an abundant, fruitful, flourishing life, overflowing with His love. Throw off this cloak of guilt from the world and instead claim the promises of the one who created you. Be ready for when God disciplines you but don't let guilt trap you in its clutches.  

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."  Romans 12:2

Landen-My Hero!

     

Landen is our middle child, our first born son. He didn't have a traumatic birth. He doesn't have any major medical problems. He isn't high maintenance. He is not the funniest one in the family or the loudest or the one who gets the best grades. But Landen is one of my heroes!!! 

Ever since he was little he had a seriousness about him that was way above his age. He is sensitive and always has taken things to heart. When he was four we were at a Newsboys concert and he raised his hand at the end when they asked if anyone wanted to accept Jesus into their heart. I took notice but then questioned, "How much does a four-year old really understand?" So, I did what every responsible mom would do...I did nothing. Chalked it up to a cute moment:(

At five his kindergarten teacher asked his class what their "gifts" were that God gave them. He raised his hand and said, "Teacher, I think my gift is love. I want to go give clean water and build houses for people who need them. So I think God gave me the gift of love." Later that year we were watching the African Children's Choir perform. They showed a video during intermission of the situation in their country of Nigeria. I looked down at Landen and he looked up at me with these big green eyes and said, "Mom you know I have to go." Did I mention that he was five...

At six, Landen sat Bryan and I down and asked when he could get baptized. He had been asking us ever since the Newsboys concert and we kept blowing him off. I told Bryan, "Honey you have to talk to him! This is out of my realm. I didn't become a Christian until I was 23. I don't understand what a child should know before he gets baptized. Aren't you a pastor? Shouldn't this be easier?" We asked Landen why he wanted to do this. His answer, "I asked Jesus in my heart a long time ago and now I want to get baptized to show that I will follow him all my life." Again, how much does a kid understand? Apparently a lot!

Over the next few years Landen has shown us just what having a child like faith in God looks like. He has humbled us with his insights, his courage to share Jesus with others, and his faithfulness in what he believes! Riding home from soccer one day he said he talked to his friends about Jesus while they were playing. I nervously took a deep breath and questioned whether he said the right thing or did he offend anyone? He cocked his head and said, "Mom, God gave me the words to say. So it was okay."

His wise words have continued at many different times and have blown us away. One time he told his friend that the reason he says bad things is because he has sin in his heart that he needs to get out. He apologized to his sister by saying, "I am sorry I called you a name that was my anger talking not my true feelings. My words were reckless." His younger brother who was making fun of his size and he boldly stated, "I might not be fragile on the outside but I am fragile on the inside" as he pointed to his heart. When he was at the dermatologists and she was cutting out two huge moles with no anesthesia he said in obvious pain, "It's okay mom. God made me brave." He was only 6.

Last summer the kids were all being super crazy in the car and I said they were acting like brats. (not my finest mom moment). With tears in his eyes, Landen asked if he could talk to me when we got home. We went in to my bedroom and he said, "Mom, I know that we were not being good but that word really hurt my feelings. I was wondering if you could choose a different word when you talk to us because that one just really hurts." Ouch!

Our son struggles with stuff that is pretty heavy for the shoulders of a little boy. He is struggling with saying the school's Citizens pledge. When I asked him why, he said, "Mom, I already do those things not because my school wants me to but because I already made a vow to God. I am uncomfortable with saying a pledge to something that is not from God." Or the time I found him on his bed obviously upset. I asked if I could help. He answers with, "Mom, it's hard to put into words. I try to compare myself with God and what he wants me to do. And every day I fail. I don't know how to be who he wants me to be." Oh..well this isn't an easy bed time discussion for an 8 year old! 

As a teenager, he can be stubborn, grumpy and selfish sometimes. But he still opens doors for people, holds my arm when I am walking down the stairs, and gives us hugs almost EVERY single day. 

Landen is my hero not because he is perfect. He is not. Not because he doesn't make mistakes. He does. Not that we don't have to discipline him. We do. 

Landen is my hero because he stands up for what he believes even when its uncomfortable at such a young age. He sings worships music at the top of his lungs not caring if he is off key or who is watching. He hides God's word in his heart by making us read a devotional to him every night as he writes down the verses in his journal. (His idea not ours). Landen is my hero because he made his relationship with God his own even in spite of his parent's obvious shortcomings!

"Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12

Can You Hear Me Now? Part 4

"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." James 1:5-6  

     Finally, God speaks to me because I talk to him.... a lot! Now before you get down on yourself because you feel you don't do this enough, hear me out. Yes, He talks to me when I pray. Prayer is a direct communication line. But again, I don't pray as much as I should. When I say talk, I mean throughout the day. I have constant mini conversations or arguments with him all day. Lying in bed in the morning I pray dear God help me get through this day. In the shower I ask him,' What do you really want from me today?" Driving to work I tell him to help me not bump anyone off the road because they are going so slow or not to yell at the McDonald's lady because she gave me sweet tea. Sometime during lunch I again will ask,"What do you want from me?" not in a very nice way. Many times he is silent. I hear nothing. 
    When I come home after work my first reaction is to go hide in my room and decompress but I will feel a gentle nudge, "Kimberley you are blessed to have children... go spend time with them."  or when I snap at my husband, I feel a pull at my heart to apologize. Or when I am at Target really wanting to buy that skirt on sale and I feel, "No you don't need that. Have some self-restraint." These are moments I call Go-Go and No-No moments. God sent his Holy Spirit to live in us. He will direct your path. This isn't Jimney Cricket your conscience talking to you. These are the moments where you know you are supposed to go and do something or you know you are supposed  to definitely NOT do something. The more you listen and obey the clearer this voice gets. Just keep talking to Him!!!

"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people" Ephesians 1:17-18

Can You Hear Me Now Part 3

"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction." Proverbs 1:7

      God uses other people to talk to me. When I listen to those who have integrity and are actively following Jesus, he uses them to speak to me, either by their actions or words. I have listened to a sermon that I felt was created just for me. As if, I was the only person in the room and the pastor was talking directly to me. The message moved me to action, to change something, to go talk to someone, to repent. This is God SPEAKING, giving me a push!
      Other times I have seen a person serve with humility, unselfishness, and love that gave me an example for what I should be doing. People who would go on a missions trip they could not afford, to a country that no one wants to go to, leaving their family behind because God told them to go. He speaks through them by the way they courageously acted. (The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. Proverbs 12:26)  God has used my son to set an example of boldly proclaiming His name to his friends and not be ashamed. When I asked him if he felt silly or was scared to talk to his friends on the playground about God his response put me in my place, "Mom, why would I be afraid? I have God on my side what else do I need? I want them to know Jesus."  Yes, God can speak through a child. 
      I have seen a man stand before others as they were tearing down his character and not reply in anger but in grace. When I asked him why he didn't stand up for himself or put those people in their place his reply was, "Who I am does not come from what they think. Who I am comes from the one who created me. He holds my reputation in his hands. Yelling back gives others power and takes away His glory in me."  After that God definitely spoke to my heart about how I respond in certain situations!

      I know there are many people out there proclaiming falsehoods about our God and we do need to guard our hearts. But God does use others to speak into our lives whether it is a pastor, friend, child, coworker, or even a stranger. Again we have the choice to listen, filter it through the truths we know from the Bible, and act upon it.  Will we CHOOSE to be foolish or wise? Because my friends, it is definitely a choice whether to listen or not.

"....if you accept my words
and store up my commands within you, 

 turning your ear to wisdom
and applying your heart to understanding— 

indeed, if you call out for insight
and cry aloud for understanding" Proverbs 2: 1-3

Can You Hear Me Now Part 2

       

Another way I hear God is through music. I will be driving along and hear a song come on KLOVE that will knock my socks off. I could have heard it a hundred times before and all of a sudden today, it hits me like a ton of bricks. He will use songs to comfort me like, "Never Let Go" by David Crowder. This song promises that God will not let go of me.....EVER! He will always be there even when no one else is. 

       He will use a song to remind me of where I came from like the "The Vow" by Geoff Moore. It states that right here, right now I stand alone and I make my vow. Whatever it takes I will be faithful.
       Sometimes he just wants to remind me who is he, like "All Consuming Fire" by Jesus Culture. God is not something to dabble in he wants to consume my life to live it for him. 
       Other times he is saying get off your butt and proclaim my name, "Go" by Hillsong United which states just that. GO!. 
       Often he is bending my will, like "Here for You" by Chris Tomlin. This song makes me weep. God wants it all. He wants my heart to be filled with his love. My heart to be open to him, not hiding. It is not about what I want but what He wants. I am here for him, created by him, for his will.
      The song that brings me to His throne is "In Christ Alone".  One of the choruses goes like this:
                                     No guilt in life, no fear in death,

This is the power of Christ in me; 

From life's first cry to final breath. 

Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

You want to hear God? Turn on some worship music and start singing.

                      "I will be glad and rejoice in you;
I will sing the praises of your name, O Most High." Psalms 9:2

TO BE CONTINUED>>>>>>>>