What's the Game Plan?

Most sports teams use some kind of huddle when they are playing a game. The team comes together to receive instructions; have a chat or discussion about what they are all supposed to do next. The people in the huddle usually are a tight knit group, very familiar with each other. They are close and count on each individual to do their part. A huddle is important because it gets everyone facing the same direction, on the same page, and following the game plan. Otherwise, it's easy for chaos to reign. It's pretty painful to watch football players run around like chickens with their heads cut off because they don't know what's going on. So many beautiful throws not caught because the receiver went a different route. So many missed opportunities to score or win because someone didn't follow the plan.

And while huddles are essentials for all those reasons, imagine if a team always stayed in one? Picture the Dallas Cowboys or the ASU Sun Devils (boo) on the field in the huddle and they never say, "Break". They just remain in their little circle of players, in the middle of the field, oblivious to whatever is going around them. They just keep chatting, slapping each other on the butt, laughing, making plans for the weekend, telling each other how great they are, and how glad they are to be part of this amazing team! Ignoring the fans, the other team, the officials, and all the people who came to be a part and watch the game.

That would be awkward right? Disappointing? Maybe even expected from some teams because we know how full of themselves they are right?

But how does this apply when it comes to church? Doesn't it seem churches are doing kind of the same thing ....staying in the huddle or our tight knit groups, congratulating ourselves on how good we are doing but never really executing the game plan? We might be pretty good at putting together a great Sunday service for our members or having an awesome VBS that consists mainly of church kids but how well are we following the Great Commission? 

"Well, we have those words in our bylaws and we have an outreach program, and we do lots of neat stuff for the underprivileged like packing shoe boxes, backpacks, food and diaper drives, cleaning up schools once a year, and giving Christmas presents for kids with parents in prison!"

All of that is helpful and definite ways to get people involved with serving others...but the Great Commission states, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you." Jesus is not asking you to create a program or an annual event you put on the church calendar. He is CALLING you to a way of life!

"Huddles" in churches are important! You want to build community, deepen relationships, be close to one another, and be brothers and sisters in Christ so you can lean on each other to face the world! 

But when we fail to truly execute the God-size plan, the call  on our lives to go and make disciples of everyone, we miss out on one of the reasons we needed a Savior. We miss so many opportunities to deepen our faith by reaching out to others and being part of the bigger purpose in our lives. The mission is crystal clear! God didn't give us a suggestion. He didn't say go if you feel like it or can fit it in your busy calendar. He didn't give you the option of sitting on the sidelines because you feel uncomfortable or don't think you really know what you are doing. He commanded us to GO! We all have a part to play, a route to take, a pass to catch. Let's break out of our "Holy church huddles" and start executing the game plan! Let's start inviting people into a life-giving and life-changing relationship with Jesus!  

Not Hiding Anymore!

Since I was little I have been pretty good at hiding either physically or mentally. When my parents started arguing I would hide in my room with my hands over my ears trying to block it all out. When my mom was angry I would hide in my bed under the covers hoping she wouldn't find me. If I knew my sister was after me I would hide in the shower, locking the bathroom door terrified she would get me.

As I got older I got even better at hiding my thoughts, feelings, emotions, and pain. I would escape into a book or deflect what was really going on by using humor or making a joke. If you make people laugh they rarely ask if anything is wrong. I hid behind getting good grades, doing sports, joining different clubs, or dating cute boys. I hid behind walls of self-made protection not really wanting people to see what was going on at home. If you act like everything is fine most people are more comfortable with that. I got really good at pretending like nothing was the matter even though inside I wanted someone, anyone, to see everything was falling apart. So I continued to hide behind the fake smiles, the partying, and the superficial and unhealthy relationships.

But since I met Jesus I refuse to HIDE ANYMORE! I know sometimes I can be raw, intense, or a little too much. I might wear my emotions on my face or my feelings on my sleeve but I have nothing to hide. My past is behind me. Other people's actions do not define me. Tears do not make me weak. Knowing I am loved and loving others makes me stronger! If you see me at work, at home, at church, or out with my friends, I am the same person. I don't change who I am to fit those around me.

I feel things deeply. I love others a lot! I am passionate about many things! I have opinions and do not like injustice. I have a voice and I am not afraid to use it even when it's uncomfortable. I sometimes care more about the truth than if I am well liked. I don't hide behind closed doors. Afraid. Ashamed. Scared of what people might think. I know my identity is not in how much money I make, what house I live in, what car I drive, the size of my waist, or how good my kids do in school and sports.

I try not to act like I have it all together. I am a bit rough around the edges but hopefully more real than not. I am flawed and broken. I make a lot of mistakes. But I still refuse to hide. Jesus doesn't live in the darkness and he is okay with the messy. He doesn't ask for perfection but He does ask for me to show up. Whenever I feel the urge to hide under my covers or with my hands over my ears blocking out all the pain, He gently whispers, "Kimberley, I love you no matter what! Nothing you do can make me love you any less and nothing you do can make me love you anymore. I love you just because you are mine! You don't have to hide anymore!"

What are you hiding from? Isn't it time to stop and claim the promises of God?

"He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners..." Isaiah 61:1

Good News At Last!!

Lawson has been seeing an eye doctor since he was a year old. He has gone through patches, prisms, eye drops, therapy, and even surgery! He got his first pair of glasses at 14 months and we just replaced his frames last week which pushed his number of glasses to 41 pairs! Today we went to get his eyes checked because he was having trouble seeing out if his left one. This kid rarely complains so my first thought was not another issue with his vision :( We sat in the doctor's office and I waited, holding my breath, praying, trying not to show my worry to my son. I flashed back to all the things this third child of mine has had to overcome and was gearing up for the next hurdle.

The doctor asked Lawson a bunch of questions and to read the letters on the wall. When he kept missing them I started to panic. (No Bryan was not around to give me the calm down face) I wanted him to pass so bad I almost felt like giving him the answers!! Just a whisper here and there if you will. What's the big deal? Kimberley, get a hold of yourself! What kind of mom wants to help their son cheat on his eye exam?? (Again Bryan was not there to give me the," Are you crazy, pull it together!" look). But we have been here so many times before and I just didn't want him to have to deal with one more thing!

Finally, after what seemed like forever (we had been there over 2 hours) the doctor turns to me and says, "The reason Lawson can't see is.......his prescription is too powerful! His eyes have gotten better and these glasses are just too strong now."

What? What does that even mean? He has had trouble seeing since birth. I am expecting bad news again. I just know you are going to tell me he is going to need surgery a second time. Is this good? Why am I having trouble intaking this positive news?

"No, I do not think Lawson will need surgery as a teenager. His eyes are correcting themselves with his glasses on to almost 20/20. Everything looks great. In fact, he was not a candidate for soft contact lens because his eyes were so bad but because of the improvement he can wear them anytime he is ready. Bad news, he is going to need a new pair of glasses because his prescription HAS changed. "

Doctor that is not bad news that is an answer to prayer! An answer to prayer from a very weak momma who sometimes doubts the BIGNESS of God. It is one more example of God's glory no matter how small my faith seems at times. Even if the outcome would have gone the other way, God has THIS! Lawson is a gift from Him no matter what and a blessing to us! So he is worth the extra $350 dollars they will cost. Bring on the 42nd pair of glasses!

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

Hillsong Halloween

On Halloween night, we traveled to Phoenix to see a concert featuring the band Hillsong. This was kind of a risk because we still have a 10 year old that loves trick-or-treating and might not enjoy the music as much as he would the candy, but we decided it was something we were going to do as a family! Of course we start off our trip bickering and biting at each other, and I think, “Oh great this should be fun. What a stupendous way to begin our ‘Bonding Time’!” I immediately question if this was a good idea or not and hope that we can pull it together!

“Lord, calm my anxious spirit! Help me to relax and enjoy this time with my husband and kids! Change my heart. Change my attitude. Help me not kill anyone.” (That’s my go-to prayer a dozen trillion times a day)

As the lights dimmed and the music begin to play, I was OVERWHELMED by a sense of rightness…It is well with my soul! Before the first song finished, I was quietly praying over each of my kids that they would let the words of tonight pierce their hearts and they would follow Jesus the rest of their lives. That they will always know they ARE LOVED! I prayed my husband would find refuge in the songs and his heart would overflow with the praise of God’s awesomeness. I wasn’t singing along because the music was a backdrop to my conversation with God and I knew we were meant to be here!

At this point Bryan looked at me and noticed I wasn’t as involved in the concert as I usually am. He knows I love Hillsong and I am a handraiser, jumper, mover and shaker in an awkward- I-don’t-care-kind-of-way, when the spirit moves me with some music!! “Kimberley, are you okay? Can you see? Do you need more room?” Nope, I am good…it is well with my soul!

Over the next two hours I experienced God’s glory shine so brightly consuming the darkness and filling the room with his Holy Spirit offering hope, joy, life, freedom, redemption, forgiveness, and most of all LOVE! Words cannot adequately describe watching over 3500 people with their hands in the air worshipping Jesus, shouting out praises to our Savior, the King of Kings, and the Creator of life!

If that wasn’t enough I got a precious gift, the BLESSING of watching my children connect with Jesus. I saw my son jumping up and down shouting out that Jesus is Lord. I saw my reserved daughter singing all the words of songs that were impressing upon her heart who is King. After my 10 year old woke up (yes he slept through some of the loudest parts) he told me that the book that was passed out he was going to give it to his friend’s mom that didn’t know Jesus and write a special note in it…....I wasn’t proud of them! Not even close. That puts the focus on me like I am doing something right! NO I WAS TRULY HUMBLED because it wasn’t about being a good or bad parent it was about seeing HOW AMAZING GOD is and getting a chance to glimpse Him at work through my kids. It is well with my soul!!

Without a shadow of a doubt I know we were supposed to be at that concert, on that night, with those people, no matter the obstacles, no matter the rough start, no matter the anxiety, no matter what we gave up to get there….because God was reminding me I GOT THIS! I AM!

“For God, who said, “Let there be light in the darkness,” has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ.” 2 Cor 4:6

I Get Knocked Down!

A few years ago I told my husband that one of my theme songs for my life was, "I Get Knocked Down But I Get Up Again." He looked at me and said, "That's nice Kimberley because that is not the name of the song. It's called Tubthumping and the whole song is about getting drunk."

Oh...well.... I must have missed that, what a dumb name! But I think it's really catchy and it just speaks to me.

In my head, I would literally chant over and over again, "I get knocked down but I get up again you're never gonna keep me down! I get knocked down but I get up again you're never gonna keep me down!"

Because life is hard. Really hard. It's easy to  feel knocked down a lot! Relationships, finances, family drama, work problems, house or car repairs, paying for college, saving for retirement, medical bills, the list is endless. The minute you seem to catch your breath something can come and blow you over again! Give you a 1, 2 PUNCH! For me, growing up in a dysfunctional family was difficult. Being a teenager without much guidance and dating the wrong guys did a number on my self-esteem. Getting through college without any financial support was tough. Making a lot of dumb decisions in my young adult years made me face some not so pretty consequences. Losing my grandma and my best friend in one year was life altering. Getting into a car accident, twice, that took away my military career seemed unfair beyond belief. So many times I felt like I'm done! I can't take much more. There has to be something else to life than just this! How many times can a person get knocked down? It was tiring and lonely. But I knew, I felt it in the depths of my soul, that no matter what I would get back up again. I just couldn't put my finger on the why.

After I started going to church and learning about God, I realized what the why was. I knew then that I didn't have to be alone. The fight wasn't me against the world. I finally understood that there is more to life than just surviving the punches. He's called Jesus! The world  would not keep me down. My past would not keep me down. My problems were not going to keep me down. When I get knocked around, instead of feeling defeated I know that God has a plan for my life. I know that I am loved beyond anything I could ever imagine! Not one hurt goes unnoticed. He doesn't promise that this life will be easy, fair, without issues, or all about my comfort. What He does promise is that He is preparing a home for me where I can spend eternity singing and dancing with him. He does promise me that when life gets too much to handle because it most certainly will, He will pick me up and carry me the rest of the way!

So although that song has a very silly name and the words were written in a different context, I choose to sing that chorus and put my spin on it, " I get knocked down and I get up again nothing is gonna keep me down because I have an army of angels on my side and a Savior who promises to be my shelter from the storms!"

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging." Psalms 42:1-3